From Chaos to Clarity | Jeff Robertson

This week we are talking with Jeff Robertson about true crime connections

>> Tiffanie: Hello, everybody, and welcome, or welcome back. This is true crime connections. If this is your first here, first time here, I want to welcome you and also welcome you into our rewired and inspired community. This week we are talking with Jeff Robertson. He is a coach and a man of many trades. So, Jeff, thank you so much for being here with me today.

>> Jeff Robertson: Absolutely. Thank you for having me. Appreciate the connections have been following along with all the good things that you're doing, the messages you're putting out. And, it's really cool to come alongside some of the other voices that you've had that help. I think we're all amplifying some of the same messages at the end. So thank you. I'm excited to be here.

>> Tiffanie: Well, thank you so much. That means a lot to me. I love it when people are like, I love what you're doing. People get it.

>> Jeff Robertson: And it's such a noisy world, right? It is. It's such a. It's, We operate in such a noisy world. Podcasting is easy for us now, but you find these ones that are really unique. And it keeps speaking to the. You know, we're all speaking to similar audiences, and, we can all keep. Keep rising together. I think it's, I think it's really cool to see us all come together through these platforms as we were leading ed, to tell you this. Like, can you imagine, I. The lift that it would have took for me and you to connect 20 years ago? Right now, our technology allows us to see your stuff and see mine. we were joking about what it would take to dial a phone 2030 years ago. Right. So, just for you and I to have this interview, would have been unheard of. So, just fortunate enough to be able to take advantage of the technology, too. In a positive way.

>> Tiffanie: For sure. I'd be standing by the mailbox.

>> Jeff Robertson: Yeah, you're exactly right. It would be. We would have to do this with a letter and not even a 110 camera with a flash cue. Right? Yeah. And then, we could. We. I could record. You could record the questions on VHS and send me the tape, and then I could. I could, record my part answering those and put the VHS back into thing and send it to you, and you could produce it like that, maybe. So.

>> Tiffanie: That's funny. Well, I'm glad we come up with the times. So.


You talk about childhood trauma and childhood, um, experiences

So where exactly do you want your story to begin? I know a lot.

>> Jeff Robertson: Yeah. No, and just what we were talking about there as we were leading in, you know, when I speak and from my audiences, and I'll take it back to that, that earlier childhood, days. And I think that's the focus that you and I talked about for here, was just that childhood trauma and childhood, experiences. And I think it was a great place. Cause when I speak, that's where I anchor. My story is starting on those things that went on as a kid and things that were left untouched. And I kinda thought that they were dealt with and where they had gotten the attention that they needed, and turns out they hadn't. And they kind of festered over the years and they would come back up from here to there. So I really enjoy just putting it out there for everyone else that have experienced this, making sure you give it the amount of attention, that it deserves. And it will never, it'll never truly. I think it becomes a part of who you are in your identity. The stuff that happened to us as kids, whether it's positive or negative. And obviously, we're going to talk about probably some things that will be negative today. But I was, tell my wife last night, just talk about what I had to do today, and I was coming on here to work with you and your team and what I was going to talk about. And I had, my daughter starting, to be age wise about where I was, that's what I was thinking about earlier. It's like, hang on. I jumped a little bit too far ahead, but just knowing where my kids are now and how it's relating. So the conversation last night was kind of the same thing. She was like, well, why does this affect you? Why does it do it? And I said, I don't know. I said, I can just tell you that I enjoy talking about it, and it may not be affecting me negative anymore, but I enjoy talking about it because I realize that there's this big gap of folks that haven't talked about it, and I just try to put it all out there. So if. Here's the other thing. I learned through her is like, her bad days and my bad days as kids were two very, very different things. Her bad day was maybe getting a c on a paper and tripping, on the playground. You know, mine may have been, you know, sleeping on the floor through gunfire. Right? So it's, two very different situations. So she sometimes struggles to relate with why I love talking about why I'm still in these modes of why it comes up and why I relate a lot of things to it. And because she doesn't know what it was like for that, but I don't know what it's like for her. so some friends have helped me with that over the time too. It's like they will tell me, it's like, just remember your worst days. Your kids are going to have very bad days that will not resemble your bad days, but it's still bad for them to keep that in perspective. And I was like, so it's really been, it's been good advice, but to speak to that was. I grew up in the rural area. like we, we weren't poor. We had, I never wanted for anything. Never went to bed hungry. We had distinctly not having running water was a. I remember not having running water living with my when I lived with my grandparents for a short time, but that was very short lived. But that's one of the things I'll tell people is like, I do remember a time of not having running water there. but we had, but my grandfather was ah, he was a business guy and farmer and he was just He was very, very, that's where the saying comes from. He just lived a reckless lifestyle. And he was he drank more than he should and he just didn't, he didn't do a good job of managing his emotions. And so he acted out sometimes through gun violence or as we were leading in. I had shared the other day on my social media, he had gotten, he got a, he had lost his license, you know, through driving and through reckless, drivings and duis. And the state took his license, but he could still drive his tractors. It didn't apply to that. So he had gotten the DUI while driving the tractor. and that's how he would act out. So growing up as a kid was one of the, the guy that I thought was, was everything. He, My mom is one of eleven, I think a bunch of kids, a bunch of grandkids. By the time I come around. I'm the absolute youngest, I think I am, one of the youngest. my mom is the youngest sibling, I'm not the youngest grandchild, but I was one of the youngest people that came into his life. So a lot of his kids are grown and they're all older and so I was being raised by them. he didn't, he didn't, he managed, he didn't manage his anger very well. So he would, he would do things. So that's kind of the situation that I grew up in. So you're talking rural America, bouncing kind of between aunts, grandmothers, my mom here and there. When I'm really small and you're talking like that going into school, like kindergarten, first grade, second grade type, age wise. So really, really small kid dealing with these big adult type problems, I distinctly remember a lot of that. Things go on, and the more as I get older, like, I'll have a dream. I remember, I'm like, was that a dream or is that a memory that you kind of suppress that stuff and I'll talk to my mom. Because back then it was, you know, you didn't talk. Because my grandfather had through, he came in one time and, he had been out and they fixed him some coffee. And I was there in the room, and I was kind of picking with him. He threw that cup of coffee on me. And, I just remember, like, that shirt I was wearing, how it stuck to me, one of those old designs, you know, and it just stuck to me and I could not peel it off. And it was like it melted to my body, you know. And the conversation with my aunts and everybody that came to rescue me out of that situation was, don't. You can't talk about this at school. If you talk about school, they're gonna take you away from us. And then, you know, so he was taught at a very young age, like, if you like being here, you love your grandma, right? I'm like, yeah, absolutely. Well, if you go to school and you tell anybody what happened, they're going to take you away from us. So that's, that's. I just remember that, and I share that with folks all the time. Like, that was, as a kid of, having to make that decision of whether I was going to, you know, how I was going to impact our family. I'm a four, five, six year old kid at this time, you know, and being influenced by the adults of sitting here, don't talk about this. So I grew up in that thing, so a lot of times something would happen and they, you know, just through their conversation with me, I would suppress that memory. And as I've gotten older, I'll be in a situation or something other and something will come up. And, like, I called my mom one day and I go, you know, I'm pretty sure I said, you ever remember my grandmother shooting at my grandfather? And she was like, no, that didn't happen. I go, I just remember an aunt grabbing me and running me out the door and something had happened. And she's like, yeah, I don't think it ever happened. But I, I'm telling you, I believe it did. so that was kind of a lot of it, right? So as you, as I grow up, there's more of that and that gets, you know, that's more of the same. Whether I'm a mom had moved me, I was into with her for a while and I just didn't like that school. And so I went back and ended up living ultimately with my aunt for many years. And then when my mom had came in and I'm older now, so I can run away from, and I know not to get in the middle of a lot of my grandfather's stuff, so we kind of was able to avoid him.


Growing up in rural America, memories of family tragedies come together in public safety

But my mom was more inserted in that picture, through running our family business. She, I think I was like in fourth grade when she started running the family business. And, you know, that's about the time when the reckless, my grandfather's just license is gone and he is tearing hell off the hinges in our neighborhood on the weekends of just driving and stuff. And I think I can't remember where I met school wise. And I'd had one of the kids that came and stayed with me and it just so happened that he had gotten off the bus with me while my grandfather was, while we're waiting on my mom to pick me up. And my grandfather's in one of his modes and just racing up and down the road and hooping and hollering and my friend saw this and my friend ultimately went back to school and told everyone what he saw just was so embarrassing and just because, so I didn't have a lot of. After that, nobody came over. Right.

>> Tiffanie: So I get that.

>> Jeff Robertson: So this little stuff like that, you know, there was. He had, he had, he liked to play, he had his guns and different stuff. And then, it was always something going on. And then a lot of this environment for me gets, it gets bigger because like you have, you know, a relative pass away or something along those lines. And so you go around all these folks in funerals and my family were really big, they acted out at their funerals and stuff like that. So it was kind of compounded just this, my childhood effect of my memories of going through this, time with everyone. And it all kind of comes together childhood wise. When you talk about, and this is what I was telling you earlier about where we're at to grandmother, ends up with Alzheimer's and we didn't know, you're talking in the eighties here. See, we don't know folks don't know that she had a spell. You know, it's rural America and no one can. No one can really explain what's going on with it. But she had dementia and, she had Alzheimer's before folks really knew what Alzheimer's was back then. And, she had, She had borrowed a gun from my aunt and she ultimately killed herself in like June of, would have been my 6th grade year going into 7th. And that's what I was telling you. It's kind of where my daughter is right now. So she. I found her and I found her that day. And, you know, the police came and aunts and everybody comes in, oh, you're okay, you're okay. And I'm like, at the time, I've dealt with so much that this was just another piece of. Of my, dealings, right. Is this is just another thing that I'm going to work through. So years later, and you go on, and I have this career in the public safety and stuff. And that's why I'll tell people now, like, public safety professionals are the best at hiding their emotions and feelings and behind other people's problems. And when you go to work at, I went to work at 15 years old at our local volunteer rescue squad and they're going through like, hey, this is things that we deal with and this, that and other. And I was like, I've already dealt with all this. I found my grandmother dead. So that was like a resume? Yeah, I mean, it's like it was a, Like I checked the box on something to where, like, you know, everyone asks you like, are you, were you good with that? And everyone always says, yes, but were you? I wasn't. I don't think I was. You know, when I talk about it now, it's very liberating because I felt like I was so angry at just my life. And then what, how all this. And I found this place where I could go and operate within other people's chaos and I thrived. you know, I loved ems and I loved the fire department, love law enforcement, love all that brain, but also I was able to bring in my life and live that life of chaos and uncertainty and all these things inside of that. So that's kind of what I was telling you about with my daughter going into 7th grade, and I was giving her some marks of encouragement. This sounds horrible, but, like, thinking about it now, But I was like, we have very, I have you set up to where you're in a very different situation. And I've worked hard to guard that and I've worked hard to make sure that you have a better springboard and you do too. And that was like, I was like, when? And so I'll share some of my feelings with her. And I was like, you know, when I was going to 7th grade, I just found my grandmother just passed away and I had found her. She's like, really? I'm like, yes. She's like, well, I didn't have to, I don't have to deal with that. I'm like, no, this is what I'm telling you. And so I try to lean in on her sometimes, or my son and just kind of letting them know, not that they have it better or anything like that, but just really letting them know I need them to understand, where they're in, where their grandmother came from, the crap that I dealt with, and how hard we work to give them a better life through all that, if that makes sense.

>> Tiffanie: Oh, for sure. It's where we come from. It's why things are the way they are. But you're also saying, we're not going to continue this path. We're breaking the cycle and we're going to do the best we can to give you the life that you deserve.


Running a family business is tough, but running a family family is even tougher

>> Jeff Robertson: and, you know, we was talking about that my mom that kind of set me off on this when she had asked, you know, my mom had, we talk about it now, but my mom at one point in time had said, I was like, you know, why did we let this happen for so long? And my mom said, you know, that's the way it was. She goes, it's just the way it was back then. And I'm just like, no, it wasn't. It's the way it was for us. And, you know, we, we put you, we were in a situation that, the rest, turns out, the rest of the world. When I talked to my wife, now my wife's like, no, that was not my life. And, so as I grew up and got around other people, sometimes we migrate to the kids that experience similar traumas or what have you. you would all kind of find yourselves around like minded individuals through your conversations or what have you. but I also found public safety and, through that path. And so I ended up in, what was positive help for the community and using, so I could really say that, you know, through my efforts, I've always been able to use them to help, our communities and different things. But sometimes the purse, like, I overlook kind of just giving attention to the things that I needed, and really getting my, having my mom understand that, that, that stuff wasn't cool. we end up leaving. I'm living aunts, and uncles and stuff. And then there's a point in time when my mom is getting down to where she's, like, fed up, but, you know, this is, I'm going to leave this. And she's neighbors with my grandfather. So after my grandmother had passed away, my, grandfather is living next door to where my mom's business was, and he sets her car on fire. And, like, just. My mom sleeps on the floor while he's shooting through the house. and the cops come down and ultimately, you know, they arrested him. and I ended up going to work for that sheriff's department years later. And that's how I'm known as. I'm known as that guy, that guy's grandson, when they hired me in to work there, right? So my interactions with the law enforcement back then, you know, become kind of my, that's how everyone knew me, was, knew my family was through those interactions with that. So we kind of go into hiding just to escape this family because, you know, the family was, it was a family business. There was a little bit of turmoil over money and just different things that running a family business will bring to you sometimes, right? There's always this. Running a business is tough, but running a family business with that much influence, negative and positive, is even tougher. So mom kind of threw the towel in and, she left. And there was a point in time like, my grandfather just goes into total, self destruction mode, and he, we're living in, we get this call one night, he went to my aunt's house that was next door and basically kicks the door open. She's there with another aunt, and he shoots her. He shoots her. Should, have killed her, but missed every, you know, all the things. And we'd go to the hospital and, you know, she's like, he's in. I think they had arrested him or whatever, but she ultimately, like, she doesn't testify against him, you know, because he was drinking or. Oh, he didn't know. He was out of his mind. He didn't know what he was doing. So, you know, it kind of all accumulated with that. I think that was the last. I think he kind of cleaned all of his stuff up after then, I think it's one of his light bulb moments kind of went off. But that's the continuation of things that I remember was all the way up until that point of dealing with them. And that's. And we still dealt with it over the years, but, like, everybody wanted you to accept that as the normal, and it's not. You don't have to, you know, looking back on that when I talk to people about it now, like, if you're. If you're hearing this and you're in that situation, that's not normal, right? Yeah.

>> Tiffanie: That was your normal, but that's not normal.

>> Jeff Robertson: Yeah. So, you know, and even, there's. I'll catch some flack out of this, for just telling business, you know, for telling family business. But, you know, there's a certain point in time when, it's through, you know, just through my help, I enjoy and I use all my stories that I tell now is 100% to try to leave with the world, be in a better place, and try to help as much as I can, to the detriment of whatever feelings that my family might. Might have of that. And I don't really give a shit, but ultimately is. That's just their mentality, right. It's like, that's, you know, they did a lot to protect and to, let that dysfunction continue to fester over the years. And it's crazy. It was just like, I stay here telling you about it. I'm like, it's a lot, It's very liberating to tell it, but it's also the rest of the world when they hear that is like, how, you know, how did it get to that point? I don't know, and I don't know what they're like. Girl, I know where I entered the world at, but I don't know, like, what had aggravated him other than alcohol and reckless behavior. I don't know what his triggers was. And, I never got to really understand, the backside of what made him tick, I guess you could say.

>> Tiffanie: Didn't you also say, like, the feds have kicked in your doors and, like, you've had a lot of.

>> Jeff Robertson: Yeah, the, The. The, Anything with him always. Majority of my good grandfather's stuff we would have. There would be some kind of interaction with, law enforcement ultimately would be the demise. Right. So whether he would always end up. Whether it's driving, you know, it would always end up in arrest, but there was a couple times where he had, Like, there was. I think it was the night where he had shot my mom's windows out and, set her car on fire, and he went and hid the woods, and they thought he was in his house. And they were like, getting ready to gas his house. They're like, we're going to come out. You got 30 seconds or we're going to shoot you. And he walked up beside him and he was like, hey, don't shoot that. Don't shoot that thing through my window. It'll break my window. They're like, wow, right here he is arrested. Arrest him. So, he had some moments like that as I progressed through my career, I never had my personal doors kicked in, but I got investigated and some other stuff that I had dealt with, during my career that was ultimately, cleared and, exonerated. But just the stresses of that, it all accumulates to kind of my personal self destructions, right, of where I really just ran out of. I pushed, kept just pushing all this stuff off and, and, just pushing it back. And then ultimately, ultimately, you know, life kind of was ready for me to move on. It was telling me like, hey, you need to move on. You need to move on.


Johnny Savage's public safety career ended after getting a DUI

And I kept pushing it back, saying, I'm good, I'm good. And, you need to deal with this. And the m more that I push things away, the more that it was like, nah, we're going to help you change this career. So I ultimately ended up with, getting a DUI, and my public safety career ended, which really started this amazing business career. it was hard for a while, but ultimately it kicked off this, you know, this career of entrepreneurship and then ultimately into, you know, what I do now in my speaking. And, I ran other people's business, you know, for about ten years. I worked at a company and we built this amazing company, and I learned how to do operations and marketing, digitals, and just all the things you could think of. And I've always had this. I've been really good at teaching, and I love talking in front of people. And, as you can tell, I hadn't shut up since you said go. So I really enjoy the, joy just talking. And, so my instructor side has helped me through all the stuff I do now. So I'm back to motivating, speaking and doing some keynote work, and I layer in. we talk a lot about the childhood stuff, but the rest of my journey is really cool, how it all comes together and there's a couple butterfly moments in there as well. that is very powerful. From, Lynn Lewis would describe it as divine intervention. Is the word she would drop on me. And then I think she told me one day, she used the, she goes, Jeff Robertson. Our meeting was divinely orchestrated. So I really pay attention to a lot of just relationships that I create. People who come into my life making sure that it's, everybody that comes in, if they overstay a few minutes. There's a purpose and just figuring out what our purposes are for each other and why we decided we was going to be here in this moment. And I think ours is to hopefully amplify more of your story and, my story and how we can just help as many people as we can.

>> Tiffanie: Of course, it's never too late. It's never too late to turn your life around. Doesn't matter what you came from. You could have even had a background worse than that, and still you can turn your life around. And some of the times when we do lose things that we are so sad that we lost, it's actually a blessing in disguise, because that means something better is coming that is going to suit us better. You don't see it at the time, but like you said, you know, look at what you were able to accomplish because of said things, you know, like, just because one door closes, I mean, others are going to open, you just never know what's in front of you.

>> Jeff Robertson: We were, we were, we were driving a couple weeks ago and driving along, shooting a breeze, and all of a sudden, tree falls down across the road. Big old tree. Like, it would have. It would have ruined our days. We would have gotten hurt if that tree. 10 seconds, and we turn around, go the other way. and I was telling someone the other day, they were, they were down on their lock, you know, it's about timing, man. If I'd have made, you know, if I'd have been here, and I was like, listen, not all, not all timing, is works against you. And you, you think it does right now, and that's because your emotions are tied around of how bad timing effective you. And I was like, you know, time is your friend sometimes. In fact, time is probably your best friend all the time. And I use that story and I was like, if timing would have been 10 seconds off, I wouldn't probably been here telling you, I wouldn't be here talking to you, maybe because that tree would have fell across our car and, and we were driving 70 miles an hour going that road. So this is not a, There would have been something catastrophic that would have really disrupted our family. So timing, as much as we give it, a bad name, we always use the word bad timing, but ultimately timing's good. and the moments are. The moments are kind of if you lean into, you know, the universe. And, there's, I work with Johnny Savage a lot, man, and Johnny's, if you want to, Johnny's got a book on crap. I want to say lost at sea, but that's not it. it's close to that. And I want to apologize to him for having a brain moment here, but he's worked with me on just understanding his relationship with goddesse. when you get into those divine and Lynn and some of the folks that have been plugging in with me in the last year, especially of, you know, that. That. Those moments and just paying attention to those. And I went through all that stuff as a kid to be able to, you know, to be able to share those. And hopefully, hopefully there's someone out there now who's ready to get out of the dysfunction, or there's a parent that is, you and I had briefly spoke about that, and parenting is tough, and it's absolutely. It's one of the most fulfilling things you'll ever do, and it's rewarding, and it's your legacy and it's your thing, but it is absolutely, it's one of the hardest things you'll ever do because there's no playbook, there's no manual, there's no, you know, let's. Let's get the, let's get the manual out of the dash and see what fuses need to be changed. Right.

>> Tiffanie: Obviously, you know, you didn't come with a manual.

>> Jeff Robertson: Yeah. When you lean into that is, I have every opportunity to pass along my dysfunction to my kids, and I could. I could stop this conversation and go tear hell off the hinges, and everybody would be like, well, that's just. That's how he was raised. That's what he knows. And, I don't. That's. No, we can't do that. I know that that's not where we want to go. So, you know, when we were talking a little bit earlier, there is. If there. That's probably some of the bigger hopes I get out of. I enjoy the fun, telling the fun stuff, you know, listen, you start telling stories about growing up in real America and your grandfather being a hellraiser and getting arrested for DUI, I can tell some funny stories, and I can, and I do, and I have a great time telling them and using them to help people and stuff like that. But I also enjoy telling it to, help people understand that they got something they can stop and they can fix their dysfunction. They don't have to pass that on to their kids. And their kids can, you know, that was our, me and my kids last night. I'm like, y'all don't have deal with this stuff. Y'all. We have stopped it. We've walled it off. You all have new roots. You have new trees planted. your family tree is full of, It's full of life and clean branches. And if you are, the only expectations I have of you two is to take care of that tree and, honor the hell that your grandmother went through to get me here, just to understand what I dealt with, to give you two this opportunity. And their mother is the credit to all that because she helped take this, you know, very. This reckless Jesus.


Jeff Perry: Using dysfunctional parenting as a storyteller in public safety

She called it destructive behavior, when we met, and, I thought it was reckless. I liked reckless better, so I coined reckless is what I. Is what I put on my shirts. But she's the one that called it out. And she's like, you. You have these destructive behaviors that are going to kill you if you don't fix them. And so through her work with me and, our kids are the benefactor of all of that and stopping the nonsense and stopping this. Just. There's no reason to continue some of that stuff.

>> Tiffanie: Absolutely. Especially when you see what it ended up doing to you, you know? But I think you do. You have to get older, and you have to be able to look at it differently. Like, it took me until, like, my feast to really understand all of this. And I'm like, damn.

>> Jeff Robertson: Like, everybody enjoys hearing your story, right? And that story, you tell it in a, hey, here comes Jeff. Let's tell them a story about, you know, and so there's your friends that are around you are like, they help you get those stories off of your chest, but then you actually meet with adults or you meet with folks those come in your life that say, hey, that's a really good story, but that's not cool. You shouldn't celebrate that. And let's, you know, let's talk about it differently. And then I was like, ah, wait a minute. You know, so I had to approach it differently. I don't know about yours, but, yeah, that. That's what's kind of. That's my wife's role, was she helped me, like, stop giving it undeserved, attention. Let's give it. Let's give it the attention. Let's put this stuff to bed and really deal with it. And that was her, like, last night, she was. I was like, I don't know. I do not know why this affects me the way it does, but it affects me, and I'm going to use it as a superpower. And I don't know. I can't tell you what your worst day should look like. I can tell you I've dealt with a lot of people's worst days, and I. And in some ways, I could say that I've had some pretty bad days myself, but. And I don't know why this is, but I know how I want to use it. And, So yours is something similar, I'm sure.

>> Tiffanie: For sure that's why I'm on the mission I'm on now is because I want especially new or expecting parents to realize it's okay to make mistakes, but you can't keep reliving them. So if you start to realize what I'm doing is not working for me, look into finding other ways that you can move around that, because there are a lot of times it's just what we limit in our own beliefs. We think we can't do this. We think we can't do that. Well, I, bet if you tried, as hard as you try to be a fuck up to be on the right path, you could really be somewhere unimaginable that you don't even think that you could get to.

>> Jeff Robertson: Something that helps with that is really having that outside person that helps you evaluate your influences. And I tell, on my podcast, me and Keith Hanks was talking about it, public safety. Using it as a storyteller here, public safety, but dysfunctional parenting, I could see, because you're. You're all sometimes dysfunctional parenting. You're surrounded by that same network of, other parents. So y'all are doing it the way y'all think it should be done. And same thing in public safety. Your firehouse culture, your EMS stations, and whether it's a law enforcement shift is you're influenced by that group of folks. And a lot of times what happened in public safety, nothing. It can be a negative we don't use it correctly is you would complete your shift, and then you would go hang out. You got dinner, you got drinks. we had a parking garage we all hung out in. so we were influenced by the same conversations and the same people all the time because we enjoyed each other's company. We had no one from the outside who came in and said, yes, y'all need y'all. Right, so, every now and then, it's just inspect who's around you, who's influencing you, and try to change. Get some fresh faces in there that can say, yeah, you're doing good. Or, wait a minute, this is not good. Or just some new advice that comes in. I think those are even from parenting. I think it's a really good thing to have, too. It's just something that gives you a new lease, a new refresh breath that comes in.

>> Tiffanie: Oh, for sure. I watch a lot of, like, self improvement videos and all that because, you know, every day I do, I want to be the best version of myself. Every day. Every day I want to be a better person. I want to help one person. You know, I want to help myself. I want to help my son. I want to help everybody. And, what they say is you need to pay attention to your circle. Who is in your circle. If you are hanging out with people who are always down, always negative, always broke, always, you know, they're always drunk, they're doing drugs, guess what? That's going to become you. You need to surround yourself with people who are trying to lift people up, who are trying to work better on themselves, make the world a better place. I mean, you don't have to be on this, like, all the time. Obviously, you're a person, but you're human. But it's better to surround yourself with people who are doing the work that you want to be doing.


Brian: It's hard to show off dysfunction in a podcast

>> Jeff Robertson: Yeah. How old's your son now?

>> Tiffanie: He's 19.

>> Jeff Robertson: Yeah.

>> Tiffanie: Holy shit.

>> Jeff Robertson: There's, a lot to be said. It's a very simple. But it's hard, too, because you don't want. It's hard to show off your dysfunction. I know my mom, she has a lot of pride and she carries herself, and, she walled off, She walled off a lot of the world from that dysfunction and from, a lot of that. So it's hard for. To invite that outside. Look into your life sometimes because you're afraid of how it's going to be perceived. But you also, looking back on it now, you realize how many people are out there in the world that are wanting to help and, you know, just consuming this conversation in your car, going down the road, on your way to work, and sharing it with. Because I have people that soon as, like, as soon as you produce this, I'm like, I know a handful people that need to hear this, but just, you know, the folks that are hearing this is. Is not sitting back and saying, oh, wow, it's a good episode, is like thinking, hang on here, who can I send this to that it's going, but that's what, that's where we don't do enough of the platform. There's a lot of vanity podcasts, there's like, oh, I just want to get my name out of you or for whatever the things are. But like, your podcast is a very purpose driven, this is, you're trying to reach and you're trying to help and it's not, we want it to be less entertainment and more impactful. So I think it's some of the things, because I know people that could hear this and you, I've listened to some of your other stuff and I'll be like, hey, just send us, hey, this is a good, this is a good listen for you because people need to hear that. thank you. Yeah, like when you hit like, sometimes you will, you'll hear stuff. And I told, I was telling you this, like when I started really trying to dial in finances, listening to Dave Ramsey's podcast and I was like, I heard the lady and she was bawling, talking about how she had cleaned us up and she did this and you know, we was half million dollars in Nadia and now my family's this. And I was like, hey, dang, she can do it, I can do it, you know, and she did it. This amount of time, I'm like, crap, we can do this. And it just gave me this lift of like, hang on. same thing in fitness, right, of owning my gym. And some of the other cool stuff I've been able to do is, if they can do it, I can do it. So same type thing is there's going to be someone who hears this, who's going through absolute pure hell that probably needs to go give some attention to their situation and just go back and, and think about it, talk about it. Here's the other thing that I struggled with and is finding everybody's like, jeff, you ever thought about doing a counselor? Have you ever talked about doing counseling? And so we'd have pastors, oh, go see your pastor. Pastor didn't have no clue what I was dealing with. Pastor didn't have. And then they would say, jeff, go. Especially as you go through public safety. Like, there's no counselor now. There is through military and some of the other stuff, public safety, law enforcement does a really good job of converting pastors over and just some of even my role now where I mentor some of these guys and listen to have conversations. But, back then, there wasn't anyone that I felt confident enough that could relate to the hell I'd enter.

>> Tiffanie: Sometimes you don't need someone to relate, though. Sometimes you just need someone to listen and then to maybe offer. I don't know if it'd be advice because they don't know what you've been through, but to maybe to be able to look at it through a different lens sometimes is so eye opening. Yeah, it really is. Because everybody's been through something. You cannot be, I don't care what age, even ten, without saying you have not been through something in your life at that point. So we all have things that we're working on.

>> Jeff Robertson: Yeah, you got that. Me and my. I. Well, I have my buddy Brian. We'll have these conversations, and we've said the same thing. Cause it's hard to find people who's been where we've been at, right? Because he grew up somewhat similar. So obviously, we're like minded individuals that are connected just through our conversations and through our life. And. And he had said that he went and saw a counselor, and he's like. He goes, He's like, I was talking to that dude, and he goes, he goes, he read a few notes. He said, I was watching his face. He goes, that guy stood there, his mouth wide open the whole time, because he never heard nothing like we were telling him, you know, because he's like. He's like. And then what happened? And he goes, I felt like the dude was just enjoying my story of dysfunction. He goes, I feel like I may. I hope I maybe helped him hear some good stories that day. But then we had the conversation about our worst days are not somebody else's worst day. That they're going to try to equate to ours is relevant. It's. It's my wife's worst day, in her mind, emotionally, has the same response as my worst day. To get hot coffee through them. Right. Or whatever. Their emotional reaction was the same thing. My friend Rachel really helped me understand, that as time went on about my kids, and she was like, don't get up tight when your kids have bad days. And I'm like, what do you mean? She goes, so they're just gonna have a bad grade on the test, but their response is going to be like. Your response was when you had your bad days. He said, they're kind of the same in their world. I was like, that's way different. She's like, not in their world, it's not. So having that understanding has been helpful, too.

>> Tiffanie: for sure. Exactly. Because in their day, oh, my God, that was the worst day. And you can't take that from them because that's how they felt in that moment, and that is their moment to have and to learn from and to grow from. And that's all we can do, is sit and look at where we are, where we've been, and where we want to go.

>> Jeff Robertson: Yeah. And try to do it better. Right. I don't. I get to coach. I, work a lot with very few people. I mean, obviously, I'll hear more about it now. but I speak publicly, but not to the point of where it's been produced or put out there.


I'm using my story to help other people through fitness and coaching

Right. and that's where I'm kind of headed because that's the calling that I've been wanting to work on more is more of these conversations around this and using that story to really just help other people. And I think that's probably the biggest thing is using these moments that I've had to just help coaches, whether they're and parents and coaching little league athletics and working inside of those, those, platforms just to try to reach those kids and, and give them that positive environment, but then trying to help influence the parents as well, because you'll see it, like, you'll see it on a coaching field. Like, come on, little Timmy, you gotta swing that bat. And sitting out there and I'm like, hey, man, we don't talk to them like that. you know, I'll just say, come here, give me some points. Right? This is, this is. We encourage, we don't. I just have a way that I enjoy and I try to influence all my parents that are around me. And then we have my kids do, I have them do work. Like, what does playing baseball mean to you? What is it? What does it mean? I try to share that with the parents, so they can see, like, it's not about hitting the ball over the fence and said other, it's about with my friends. And my kids have taught me that, like, dad, don't make, don't take this too serious. We're here to have fun. And, they keep me in check because we all get competitive and we start driving, like, hey, you know, we're goal focused. My son and daughter pull me some, hey, taking fun out of it. And that'll remind me to go back deep breathe. Remember, hey, I'm there to influence and not, be a more of a positive light. That I am a negative. They helped me with that. So it's a big deal.

>> Tiffanie: So important, because if you think more positive, you're going to have more positive experiences. If you live in this negative world, oh, my God, that cloud is going to be over you nonstop. And ain't nobody got no time for that.

>> Jeff Robertson: We did. I had fit body boot camp. I was, and I still am an owner, but running fit body boot camp and coaching classes and just like, that is such a. That's a great place that it was really put in my life at a time when I was. I haven't shared, like, my members never. They know that, you know, I worked in public safety and some other things, but I lived. Like, I kind of kept everything worn off, but it was really good for me to just help harness a lot of the negative stuff and just kind of wrap my arms around them and help them through their struggles and through their, things, too. So when I transitioned from, law enforcement into, career, I landed at a trailer dealership, and my friends were like, holy crap, how are you going to make money? Nobody makes money at this. And turns out, like, we just didn't know. But, we grew from being the owner. We ended up growing, like, a 90 person company and a manufacturing facility. And, he taught me how to do business. And about that ten year mark, I was like, you know what? I need to go. It was eight year mark. I really started thinking about my health and fitness and some other stuff. So I joined, the fit body, and I walked at first class. I walked out that day and I was like, I'm own one of these. I was like, man, it moved me so much. And then, because I just love the atmosphere. And then a couple years later, I ended up leaving the company I was working for. So I was ready for change. And I went to work for the, crew that owned fit body boot camp. And I was able to, during COVID I bought my location during COVID I was partners with a guy for a handful of years. And then, I went out on my own in 2020. So that was, being able to do that and just give this positive influence into my members and then through our franchise and all this stuff. If you've never done group exercise, if you like people, and you're trying to find a community that will just absolutely full of positivity, that is a place to go.

>> Tiffanie: There you go. Yeah. Everyone there's working on their body, their mind.

>> Jeff Robertson: Yeah. and what you'll find, man, the workouts are pre programmed. Like, you go in as a coach at least, and classes. But, it is absolutely our goal at Fitbody is to be the best 30 minutes of somebody's day. So training my team and just working on that, like, telling people, because even, like, when you tell your team, that lady that's coming through the door, because I knew my members, I knew their home, I knew their situation. We get. I'm friends with all these guys and. But trying to train your team up, like, hey, when that lady comes in the door, let's make sure we hold the door and, ask her how her days going, because she doesn't get that at home or she doesn't get that at work, but she's going to get it here. And, that man that's coming in. Who's. Who's that? You know, mean, like, everybody's day has been affected somehow, and our goal is going to be the 30. The best 30 minutes of their day before they go on to their next thing.

>> Tiffanie: Love that. I do. I love that. That's great. do you want to tell people how they can get a hold of you? If anybody would like to podcast or coaching or any of that good shit.

>> Jeff Robertson: Yes. Last name? My friends in Franklin, they dropped the, most of the syllables out of my name when I was a kid, so that's where the Robinson comes from. Even though my name is Robertson. but Jeff Robertson. If you message me on Instagram, that's me. If you message me direct message. Meh. R a b a s o n. if you'll send me a message there, you'll get a response from me. Because I run my own accounts and I love talking to people. If y'all can't figure that out yet and I won't shut up, that's the best place. That's where you and I connected. I have a website. You'll find it on there. Robson.com. same thing. But I use that funny spelling of my last name for all the stuff that I do. but I love conversations on Instagram.


You can hire me to speak. I'll come do your event, run your workshops

You can hire me to speak. I'll come do your event, run your workshops, all that cool stuff on table. More about the story. I take this story and I tell you I use it. I layer it. And then all my. I was fortunate enough to do undercover police work. And, so I have all these amazing stories of just where you can they integrate into business and communications and, whatever that needs to look like. So we tailor a lot of good, we do a lot of taking, a lot of my whole story. Drill that out in the content that'll serve boardrooms and Fortune 500 companies and just whatever that needs to be as we can, we can do that. And I love doing the big events as well. So when you do your. Bring all your podcast guests in and we do a big old event in your hometown for your. For your podcast, I'll be there for that, too.

>> Tiffanie: So I would love that. That would be fun. I would put it out there.

>> Jeff Robertson: It's going to start coming back to you. That's why I throw it out there for us.

>> Tiffanie: Yeah. I love that idea. Hell, yeah. Let's put that out in the universe. Let's go. I'll also make sure I put your links in the show notes.

>> Jeff Robertson: Yeah, same. Likewise. And I'll. I'll do the same. I think there's something to be said and we take for granted, you know, oh, I can't compete with Joe Rogan. I can't compete with this one. But your message speaks to people that need to hear it and that they don't. Don't, take that for granted when you're having this unknown guy on here that has a story that you and I hopefully know this without a fact, that we're going to reach the people that need to hear it. So keep doing what you're doing, and, anything I can do to help support your mission, make sure you keep me looped in.

>> Tiffanie: Will do. Thank you so much, Jeff. I really appreciate that. Yeah, we will stay in touch, for sure.

>> Jeff Robertson: Yeah, that sounds great.