[00:00:00] Speaker: My guest tonight found herself trapped for 17 years. In a cycle of emotional and financial abuse. Until she said enough. She has recently released her memoir, finding My Way Back to Me, a raw and powerful story of survival, awakening, and reclaiming her life with two daughters by her side.

[00:00:22] Tonight we're pulling back the curtain on the kind of abuse that doesn't leave bruises, but leaves you broken Inside, we're going to talk about the quiet kind of suffering that so many women and men endure and what it really takes to find your way back to yourself. If you've ever wondered, is this normal?

[00:00:43] Is this love, this episode might just give you the clarity, strength. . Strength and hope you've been searching for. Please welcome Amanda Scott. So, so nice to have you. 

[00:00:58] Amanda Scott: Lovely. Thank you Tiffanie, for having me on your show today. Thank you so much. And hello to all the listeners. 

[00:01:05] Tiffanie: This is such an important topic.

[00:01:07] I've actually also been in an emotional and financial abusive relationship, and you don't realize how bad you're in it until you're not anymore. 

[00:01:19] Amanda Scott: Yeah, that's true. , I experienced domestic abuse in a marriage for 17 years, yet for the longest time I didn't realize that [00:01:30] what I lived with was abuse.

[00:01:33] Because abuse takes many forms and it's often hidden, whether it's emotional or physical, financial or sexual abuse. It creates feelings of shame in the abused that keep them stuck. You see, nobody wants to feel unloved and uncared for, and so we make excuses for our partner's behavior rather than accept the truth that we are being abused.

[00:02:05] So I decided to share my. Lived experience to help shine more light on this issue because my greatest hope is that my story can bring awareness and support to people who are still living in an abusive situation. 

[00:02:25] Tiffanie: And to validate what you're probably already thinking that , so many times we do, we second guess ourselves and we think.

[00:02:34] , Like you said, the excuses. Well, maybe if I would've done this, maybe, , he's not always like this or she's not always like this, but when you think about it, they kind of are.

[00:02:47] Amanda Scott: Yeah., When I look back now, , it seems unreal that I would accept. What I know today as my reality back then now I asked [00:03:00] myself, , why did I tolerate what I know now to be emotional and financial abuse? And the short answer is that abuse took control over my world. I no longer had a reference point to be treated with dignity and respect.

[00:03:25] It had become my new normal. You see, it was normal to be yelled at. It was normal to be told I was stupid. It was normal never to make any decisions. , But yet , the deepest answer as to why I tolerated it, it was because I had grown to believe that I deserved to be treated that way. Yeah, 

[00:03:55] Tiffanie: that's a hard one to take because I don't know if anyone actually like, can believe that they deserve that, but it just becomes so part of your normal that.

[00:04:07] You don't even recognize it anymore? No, because 

[00:04:12] Amanda Scott: in my case, abuse grew slowly and what started out as one incident of disrespect became two and three until eventually it became the way I lived. , I was told I was [00:04:30] stupid, so it didn't take long before I believed it. And that meant that each time I was treated badly became my fault because I thought if I was better, things would be better.

[00:04:45] So what happened is the emotional abuse enabled the financial abuse. , Because I was too scared to ask questions, to question my husband's decisions because all I wanted was peace and for the, that constant tension in the house to be relieved. So I just did what I was told, hoping that he would be better.

[00:05:14] Speaker: And they never get better. 

[00:05:16] Amanda Scott: That's what 

[00:05:17] Tiffanie: I try. No, to drive home to, no, my listeners, our community so much, they don't change. We think we have this magic wand and we're gonna make them who we want them to be. And honestly, a part of it does kind of fall on us in a way, because since we allow them to treat us that way.

[00:05:39] They think that we like it or that we're allowing it. So it's almost like this mind game going back and forth. 

[00:05:51] Amanda Scott: Absolutely. And the situation I was in had nothing to do with what I did or what I didn't do. It was [00:06:00] simply because my husband was a deeply insecure man that needed.

[00:06:14] I chose to accept it rather than question that you see when you've been abused for a long time. You keep on accepting it, even though you know you shouldn't. Yeah. 

[00:06:29] Tiffanie: But in a way you're tr you're telling them it's okay to treat me like this because you're not doing anything about it. I was the same way.

[00:06:38] Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:06:41] Amanda Scott: Absolutely. So, , from my lived experience, I believe we can all heal and grow , and we all deserve a better life. But you are the starting point for change. Leaving and moving to a better life starts with the decision that only you can make yourself. , You must first ha have a clear intention in your mind and then you begin to, things begin to happen and you start to bring people into your life because you know the most important thing is that you are happy.

[00:07:28] Oh, absolutely.[00:07:30] 

[00:07:36] Tiffanie: Oh yeah. , The time that you start giving your power away, it's very hard to get it back. So you have to be very aware of what you're doing because eventually , you come to find out you have no power anymore. It's gone. 

[00:07:54] Amanda Scott: No. That's right. Well, it took me 17 years to build up that and, , to become aware.

[00:08:03] Because I really didn't realize that I was in it. , But then, , what's important is , to have some friends, just even one friend. You friends are very important in your life because they help me. They help me, , realize, , what I was going through. , They showed me, Amanda, , this isn't right.

[00:08:25] And, , I think, sometimes, , with a, in relationships and then they don't want you to have those friends. And I think it's very. Very important for you to keep that contact with people who know who you are, , who know about your situation and are helping you to find solutions to that abusive situation.

[00:08:49] Absolutely. 

[00:08:50] It's, 

[00:08:51] , Critical. 

[00:08:51] Tiffanie: Somebody needs to know because God forbid something happens, someone needs Yes. To tell them this is where you need to [00:09:00] look. Yep. 

[00:09:02] Amanda Scott: Yep. Absolutely. And , then you think, no, this isn't actually right. , Disrespect isn't right. , And then you sometimes think that this is a normal relationship, but it's not normal because when I look back now, , I was stopped.

[00:09:24] Seeing friends, , quite early on in my, , relationship, , when I, and yet. Beyond the lack of isolation and, , perspective other friends might have given me. The biggest problem was how I interpreted the signs of love, because when I got married, I was convinced of one thing that my husband loved me.

[00:09:53] When he called me 12 times a day to find out where I was, what I was doing , and, , and when I'd be back home. In my mind I thought he loved and cared for me so much when he was critical of the friends that I, I was seeing. In my mind, I thought he was concerned about my wellbeing. In truth, I had to feel as though I was loved or the, , the thinking , of not being loved , , was just unthinkable to me.

[00:10:26] So as my husband's, , [00:10:30] behavior deteriorated, I accepted what I thought was love and a protective nature, and it was actually abuse and control. So I think it's our signs of love. What we think love ought to be. Love is, , freedom and trust. And, , it's not possessiveness, it's not jealousy. Love is without that.

[00:10:55] Yeah. Yes. Love is without that 

[00:10:57] Speaker: controlling behavior, if , you're told what you can wear, , who you can hang out with, what you can eat, who you can talk to on the phone. Although that's not normal. That's not normal behavior. No. So if anything like that is going on in your relationships, huge red flag.

[00:11:16] Amanda Scott: Yeah, absolutely. , And. Don't just listen to your gut feelings and don't talk yourself outta your own intuition to, you know, to avoid making the hard decisions that will move your life forward. Listen to yourself. That's your, that's signs telling you that something isn't right when you have that gut feeling.

[00:11:43] Yeah. And we often get those warning signs, but how often do we actually listen to them? Not enough. You know? I think we've all done it. I think we've all done it. Yeah. 

[00:11:53] Tiffanie: Oh gosh. Yeah. The, the internal battle I know I had with myself was [00:12:00] unreal.

[00:12:02] Amanda Scott: Yeah. Yeah. And when I think, , I had to negotiate to go out with friends and when I did, you know, I was berated.

[00:12:19] The emotional abuse that, , I suffered in my marriage. , And if I was outta the house, yeah, my husband would call me constantly demanding to know where I was, what I was doing, and , when I'd be home. , And the funny thing is you just never feel comfortable in the house. It's as though you're always walking on eggshells, waiting for the next criticism or incident.

[00:12:43] , Yeah, that's not the way to live. It's. Certainly not the way to live. Yeah. And , I just think that if once you make that decision, , it's an important decision that, , will change your life. Yeah., It's, I important, , to be on the right track, to be healthy, , to be, to know what kindness and love and respect are, because I.

[00:13:10] It's all about that, but it really starts from you being kind to yourself. Yeah. 

[00:13:16] Tiffanie: It's almost like they have yourself a radar, like when you do have like lower self-esteem, it's like they can pin you out of a room and they're like, oh, okay her, she's a good one. And it's just, it's [00:13:30] crazy to me how they can do that, but they do, they work on your insecurities and they play off of that.

[00:13:36] Absolutely. 

[00:13:38] Amanda Scott: But the validation, you don't need validation from anyone. 

[00:13:41] Tiffanie: Right? 

[00:13:43] Amanda Scott: Yeah. It's valuing yourself, value yourself, know your knowing your own worth. Yes. , I think it's really about building ourselves up, building our self-worth and our self-belief, because self-belief is a start for. To changing everything in your world.

[00:14:05] The easiest thing is to blame other people, but it's not until we, , believe that we deserve more and we do not accept that abusive behavior that things will start to change. 

[00:14:21] Tiffanie: What, what was your final straw for you to say, you know what? I'm done. I'm finally leaving. 

[00:14:29] Amanda Scott: I'm finally leaving it. It was because.

[00:14:33] You know, a girlfriend told me, yes, it's not right. I was, I was, I went out to the park with a friend to walk, and on my return, uh, I looked at my phone, which I'd left in the car and there were 12 missed calls. You know, I was terrified. I thought, oh my God, what has happened? So I called my husband and he said, well, where have you been?

[00:14:56] What have you been doing? I've been waiting here for my lunch. [00:15:00] And this was the start of, of the conversation that was the start of the end, uh, of, of it for me. You know, I'd been lied to and emotionally and, and financially abused that I could not take anymore. I knew I was worthy of respect.

[00:15:21] And kindness and and that was important for me and I think it was also is for the children. Don't tell yourself. That you'll stay for the children because what we teach our children in that situation is that love equals abuse, and one of my primary motivations for leaving the marriage was to teach my children the importance of self respect.

[00:15:53] I 

[00:15:53] Tiffanie: yeah, there's so many people that I've talked to that are like, oh, well, you know, I wanted to wait for the kids. You know, I, it's better with the both of us in the household. Well, no, it's not. If it's a very toxic environment, your children can feel that. I don't care how old they are, if they're four, if they're 12, if they're 19, they know what's going on and Exactly.

[00:16:16] You learn by example and it becomes the generational trauma. I'm a product of generational. Absolutely. And so that's how I ended up where I was. So we gotta break the cycle. 

[00:16:28] Amanda Scott: Yes. And when [00:16:30] you break that silence, because as we know that this, it's not, when we think about, , domestic abuse, we often, , picture physical violence, but there is an insidious form of abuse and it's destroying lives in silence.

[00:16:48] And that is financial abuse as well. It's just as bad financial abuse. And it affects here in Australia, it affects about one in four people. And it destroys them of their independence, their security, and their ability to escape the situation. . Many, , survivors say they suffer in silence.

[00:17:14] Because of the lack of resources and because of, , fear of judgment and, , some women don't have access to their accounts. This's all controlled by their husbands. I wasn't allowed to 

[00:17:29] Speaker: work, so I couldn't make any 

[00:17:32] Amanda Scott: money. Money. No, absolutely. So you are absolutely trapped in that cycle of dependency. Yeah.

[00:17:42] And that's just as bad as the emotional, it can actually become from emotional, become financial abuse. But there aren't any clear, there isn't a clear definition of what financial abuse is. So we don't have any sort of accurate or [00:18:00] consistent measures. , And it's really up to the victims to come out and say, I'm being financially abused.

[00:18:09] I think that can come in a, some of them just suffer 

[00:18:11] Speaker: in silence. Right. Financial abuse to me is either like when they won't allow you to hold a job, so you can't make money of your own or they refuse Absolutely. To hold a job. So when you're working, you are paying everything. You can't get ahead or , you get paid and they take all your money and maybe give you an allowance.

[00:18:33] Maybe they give you nothing. There's so many different people. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. 

[00:18:38] Amanda Scott: Yeah. And when you have to ask for every cent and have to beg for money, , it's not right. It's like being a child, having to ask for money and it chips away at your self worth 

[00:18:56] Tiffanie: demoralizes you. You just wanna be like everybody else else, 

[00:18:59] Amanda Scott: yeah. It

[00:19:07] be more independent. And, , and taking responsibility for their own happiness. Yes. And bringing in people that just, , amplify that happiness. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You're not looking at for a validation from anyone. It's building yourself up. It's about building your self-belief, your [00:19:30] self-worth, and then bringing the people in that amplify all that.

[00:19:36] Your happiness, your kindness and being kind to yourself, not abusing yourself. Not , putting yourself into something like , that is abuse. It's not allowing that to happen. Saying, no, I deserve to be kind, to be, , for respect and not tolerating with anything that's less. Hmm. And it's fun. It is.

[00:20:03] It's when you do that, life changes and the people around you, , that you bring into your life completely changes. 

[00:20:12] Tiffanie: It's like the sun comes out, 

[00:20:13] Amanda Scott: you've got a total contrast. Absolutely. And you've got a total contrast of your life. And you think, oh my God. Yeah. Sometimes when you are in it, you don't think it's possible.

[00:20:26] You think every relationship is like that. But let me tell you, it is not like that. It is not like that at all. And that is not normal, 

[00:20:38] Tiffanie: right? And you can't find the person that's gonna treat you well if you're stuck with the person who's treating you like shit. 

[00:20:46] Amanda Scott: No. And who and when you are not actually being kind to yourself and loving yourself.

[00:20:52] When you start having a relationship with yourself and knowing what it is like to be truly loved [00:21:00] by yourself, then you can bring the a, a relationship in that matches that reflects how you feel about yourself. Absolutely. That's what's important. 

[00:21:13] Tiffanie: Yeah. So how long did it take you to find your way back to yourself?

[00:21:21] Amanda Scott: Well, after the, , that decision that I made that I couldn't take it any longer, , that I deserved to be treated and was worthy of being treated with respect, it took me about, , in my book, 43 Pivotal Days, it took me, which was about two years, to extract myself to build that, , self-belief up.

[00:21:43] And it. But every part of that was worth it. It was worth it all. It wasn't easy, but it was just worth it. Having to go through that and build myself up, it was for my growth, it was for me. It wasn't about the person I was with, it was about me. Me becoming and connecting with myself. And you know, the 43 days, yes they pushed me. It pushed me to my limits, but it made me become who I am today, and I am very grateful for that. I wouldn't change one thing. I wouldn't change one thing, but on the way I learned a lot of things. I learned a lot of things, some [00:22:30] which I, I had known back then, but at least I know them now.

[00:22:34] And that's the most important thing. Yes, 

[00:22:36] Speaker: absolutely. Yeah. After you finally did leave, did your daughters ever say anything to you like, mom, what took you so long? Or was there anything like that? Because sometimes they know before you do. 

[00:22:53] Amanda Scott: Oh, they do, but I, I think, , they just want you to be happy. Your children want you to be happy no matter what.

[00:23:01] They will be with you. No matter what. They'll be with you. You don't need to think, oh my God, will I lose my kids or will I, will they not? No. Just trust yourself, follow your heart, and they will be with you all the step of the way. They will. Yes, and it's very important. I think that they have contact with both.

[00:23:27] And for me it, for me that's a very important thing because, in life there's two sides. You know, , the husband, they're insecure, , because they need to control everything. They are insecure, so they're on their, he healing. Journey as well to not have to take control over everything in their lives because[00:24:00] 

[00:24:04] it's very important that, . They're on their journey and their healing journey, and it's up to them if they want to change. But for you, it's about focusing on yourself. And and, , lots of self-care. Lots of self-care. For me, it was walking in the park, connecting with friends and that was really critical to be in nature.

[00:24:27] Just to get to the park, to be in nature where you could process your emotions and make sense , of what was going on. And there you need to actually get into a quiet place outta the chaos. I think that's , very important as you're going through it. You need time in a quiet place. So you know what it's like to be a peace, where it's nice to be surrounded with the beauty of nature.

[00:24:54] It's essential. It's essential to get out of that environment 

[00:24:59] Tiffanie: if somebody, and that's 

[00:25:00] Amanda Scott: what I had. 

[00:25:02] Tiffanie: Yeah. If somebody right now is in this kind of situation and they're thinking about leaving, what advice would you give them?

[00:25:14] Amanda Scott: I think it's important to, as I said, have a friend around you who, someone who knows your situation. And I think it's slowly, slowly you work [00:25:30] things out, have your intention, what you are doing, , and you bring in those people that to help you make that happen. I think. In a way, sometimes it's good to first of all have counseling to see whether you can keep this together.

[00:25:48] Maybe the other person didn't know what they're like and if that can help, sometimes it can't. But it's just giving it a go. , It's giving it a go. Seeing whether, , the other person it's good to have it. Give them a chance. Yeah. To see if they can change. If they can't, then it's making those steps.

[00:26:10] But it's, if you can talk about it, and sometimes it's very difficult to talk to very controlling people about yeah. Is just trust. Trust that the right people will come along. And don't sign anything without fully understanding what you are being presented with. And I'd say one thing is don't take the blame for being the one who break down the marriage. You know, when it's not working don't keep silent. Yes. Because I did this. , And as a result I was blamed, , at the beginning for the breakup and for ruining their lives, my children's lives because abusers like to stay hidden and they don't say anything.

[00:26:57] And what happens is this is [00:27:00] how by them, they keep their power by staying quiet. Not saying anything to anyone makes them. Look like a victim and make you wrong. So I think I would just speak to my children a bit more and have said exactly what had happened and not try to keep it quiet. And I, as I said, maintain those strong friendships because they are the backbone to your path forward.

[00:27:44] Sometimes made me into an abuser, and I think on, and it's like, oh. This happened two or three times and my desire for revenge was turning me into the abuser. So be very careful. 'cause you, I do, you know, you don't want to from a victim become the controller. 

[00:28:11] Tiffanie: Good point. Very good point.

[00:28:15] Amanda Scott: Yeah. So just have that clear intention in your mind. Of what you want. And you find that people get a good lawyer or solicitor, someone that's not [00:28:30] your husband's somebody different and there is a lot of help out there that can help you through it. And support networks that can help you get through something like that.

[00:28:42] But you do need support, but, and you do need to get out a bit and a bit of self care. Yeah. Start making your needs a priority. And for me, as I said, it was walking in the park, being amongst nature, being with a friend. You don't need a lot of friends. Just one friend that'll listen to you, not judge you, you know, but just will just be there.

[00:29:07] Just be there for you so that you can work it out. 'cause these things take time. And and that's okay. But it's about you knowing that it's not right and it's not acceptable and that you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. 

[00:29:24] Speaker: Absolutely. Everybody deserves respect. So if you're not getting that, it's time to go.

[00:29:33] Amanda Scott: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I do what I do because once I found my way back to me, I couldn't, I can't keep that to myself. , Every woman deserves to feel safe in her own skin, to trust her own voice and to live life like it feels like hers, not shaped by fear or guilt or survival.

[00:29:59] No, it's [00:30:00] important. It's important that you know, that, , their stories are out there that you're not alone and that no matter how far you've drifted from yourself, it's never too late to come home. That's a great point. It's never too late to come home because some people will be like, 

[00:30:19] Speaker: oh, I'm too old, or I'm too this.

[00:30:21] I'm too gone. No never. 

[00:30:23] Amanda Scott: It is never too late to come home. No. It took me 17 years. It doesn't matter how long it takes you, it doesn't, it changes your whole complete life. Yeah, absolutely. Because a lot of the things that you go through is the stress. You go through stress, and stress brings illness and disease and you start think and your body can notice it.

[00:30:50] For me, it was in the throat. Because I wasn't speaking my truth. When you start to say no and you speak up, then things start to get better in your body. It's telling you it's important to speak your truth. Yeah. At first I was trembling, my voice was trembling, but it's important. It's important to be, to become yourself, not to live somebody else's life.

[00:31:19] In this, in this journey of time in your life, be yourself. That's what life's about. 

[00:31:28] Speaker: Absolutely. When [00:31:30] you're in that stressful situation, your cortisol is through the roof and it does, it makes you sick. I got an autoimmune disease, so it works in many different ways, but , you don't even realize it. It absolutely.

[00:31:41] Until you got a diagnosis and you're like, oh shit. Yeah. 

[00:31:45] Amanda Scott: Yeah. So it's about living your life without stress. Yes. And that you can do when you're living your own life Yes. And doing the things that you love. Yeah. And all it is is about following your heart, and doing the things that you love.

[00:32:04] It's and it's a fabulous, fabulous life because we all deserve to be treated, you know, with respect and, the book I brought out, finding My Way Back to Me, it's an easy read. It's a very quick, easy read, but it's a powerful reminder that we do deserve to be treated with kindness and respect all the time.

[00:32:25] Where 

[00:32:25] Speaker: can people find that? If anyone's interested is Amazon. Everything's on Amazon. 

[00:32:30] Amanda Scott: Yes. Yeah, , my web on my website amanda j scott.com, , there's updates on some blogs and that you can find the book on there and it's available on all. 

[00:32:42] Speaker: I'll make sure I put, , links in the show notes for that too.

[00:32:50] Amanda Scott: That's important. To some little references that were good advice on what to do as you're going through that, , breakup process and, , [00:33:00] how to make it a, , a bit easier as you're going through the process, but, to know that it's, you can do it, you know, it's, , it's about getting out and, , living a life full of.

[00:33:14] Health, harmony and happiness. Yeah, 

[00:33:18] Speaker: absolutely. It's time to live your best life. Doesn't matter if you're I nine or 90. Live your best life. 

[00:33:27] Amanda Scott: Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. , It's amazing. Yeah. So for abuse to stop, start believing in yourself and know your self-worth.

[00:33:39] Speaker: Absolutely. And if you, anyone listening know anyone that needs this to need, needs to hear this message, please make sure to share this with them because it's time. We've all gotta break through these cycles and start living our life and such beautiful things start happening when you're actually happy.

[00:34:01] Yes, they do. They do. Who would've thought they do? Yes. 

[00:34:08] Amanda Scott: Yeah. 

[00:34:08] Speaker: Yeah, 

[00:34:09] Amanda Scott: yeah. 

[00:34:09] Speaker: Was there anything else you wanted to add? 

[00:34:13] Amanda Scott: I think , life is full of infinite and opportunities, , that we all have. That we can all lock into. And I think, , it's when you say no and when you can say no, that's a very [00:34:30] powerful thing without any explanation.

[00:34:32] I think it's a sign of. How you respect yourself, because you're allowed to say no. It's important. Sometimes you don't need to say no. It can be a nice, it can be a, a happy no, you say yeah without being, , too harsh , or strong. But it's important to have boundaries and to not that you are stopping anybody from.

[00:35:00] , Letting them in. They're not walls, let me say. Boundaries are not walls. They are doors that protect you from your peace. And to build, . Your peace up. , It's important to be able to say no and without any explanation. No, , I'm going for a walk. And I ended up saying that, , no, because walking in nature was my happy place.

[00:35:25] It was where I could get away outta that, , chaos. And I think it's important to. Make sure you've got time for that out there. Make sure that you've got time to go in , and get out. And you and how much do you need to be Bush? How much disrespect do you need to go through to be able to say, no, no more?

[00:35:48] I wanna live my own life. I don't wanna live your life. You know, I want to live my own life. I wanna be my own person. And I wanna be happy. [00:36:00] Yeah. As you deserve 

[00:36:02] Speaker: it. Yeah. We all do. You deserve to be happy. Yeah. 

[00:36:06] Amanda Scott: So I think it gets to that point in your time that it just, you will just say Enough is enough.

[00:36:15] Speaker: Yeah. Eventually, we usually all get there. Just some take longer than others. Yeah. 

[00:36:21] Amanda Scott: But it's okay. It's okay. Yeah, 

[00:36:23] Tiffanie: yeah. Every journey's 

[00:36:24] Amanda Scott: different. It's part of the journey and it's doing it supporting others, and that's what I do. Support them gently along that. Yeah. To make positive decisions and rebuild their self-belief.

[00:36:40] Tiffanie: I love 

[00:36:41] Amanda Scott: that. And I do. Yeah. And, , people are out there. I'm out there. We're helping to, with workshops and retreats to help women get back on their feet and, , live their own life. It's fantastic. 

[00:36:58] Tiffanie: That is, it's empowering, so it's, yeah. That's great. I am gonna make sure I leave all that in the show notes.

[00:37:07] That way if people are interested in either the book or your retreats, like it's all right there. Yes. Because we need to heal as a society. 

[00:37:17] Amanda Scott: Yes, we do. We do. And the more we say no, and we're not going to put up with that behavior, the more the it evolves and they [00:37:30] change.

[00:37:37] To do, they're actually living their own life, so it's all going to change, but we've got to start by saying, no, we're not going to put up with this behavior. Right. So grow up. Grow up and be kind and be respectful. 

[00:37:53] Tiffanie: Yes. Exactly. 

[00:37:57] Amanda Scott: Yeah. I think that's important. Yes. So it's only until we change ourselves that other things can change around us.

[00:38:04] Tiffanie: Yes, yes. That I love 'cause that's so true. So true. Yeah. 

[00:38:11] Fabulous. Yes. I wanna thank you so much for being here. I think this is really good for people who are going through it. You're not alone, they're are always out. And happiness is just on the other side. Yeah. 

[00:38:24] Amanda Scott: Absolutely Tiffanie, it is.

[00:38:25] Thank you so much and everybody for listening as well. And I, I do hope that, , some things have, , have sort of come out and making a change for you because, , it's, please, the most important happiness is yours. Yes. Yep. Can't 

[00:38:41] Tiffanie: make anyone else happy until you make yourself happy. No, 

[00:38:44] Amanda Scott: that's 

[00:38:44] Tiffanie: right.

[00:38:46] Oh, lovely. All right. 

[00:38:48] Amanda Scott: Let 

[00:38:48] Tiffanie: me 

[00:38:48] Amanda Scott: thank you for having me on your show today. Of 

[00:38:50] Tiffanie: course. Thank you for being here.

[00:38:53] ​