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Did you know many women find out the truth about their partner only after they've already moved in?
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Or worse, what if the person sleeping next to you had a secret criminal past and you had no idea?
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I know how manipulation hides in plain sight, and today's guest lived it.
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She trusted him, loved him, built a life with him.
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By the end of this episode, you'll know the red flag she missed, how she uncovered the truth, and how to protect yourself from becoming the next target.
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Heather Rovett, I really want to thank you to the show.
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Thank you for being here.
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Thank you for having me.
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I love doing podcast interviews.
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I love meeting new people.
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Absolutely.
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Me too.
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It's like one of my favorite things about the whole job.
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So if anyone out there listening, if her name does sound familiar, she is in it's a documentary called Roncom.
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Who the fuck is Jason Porter?
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And it's on Amazon Prime.
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First of all, what I have to tell you is you're a little badass.
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Thank you.
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And I love that.
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Somewhere along the journey, it there I definitely became a little obsessed.
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Not always the down the healthiest path.
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But yeah, it when the criminal justice system here in Canada failed me for what we did to me, I just wanted to expose him.
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And then it it's it was almost like an onion.
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Like every layer just turned out to be like more victims, more crimes.
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And he, yeah, he deserves what he got in the end, as far as I'm concerned.
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But I do think he could have cried more time.
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Oh, yeah, I was gonna get to that later.
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That was ridiculous.
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So I had the pleasure of actually watching the documentary, and so you pretty much you hired a handyman and ended up with a boyfriend.
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I I had renovated my condo in Toronto, and the company that I had used to do all the kitchen catemetry and the bathroom vanities, he actually worked for their company.
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So they sent him over a couple months after I'd moved back in back into the condo, and some things needed tweaking or fixing.
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He was their new service guy, so to speak.
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And how he ever got hired with his criminal past, which I did not know about at that time, is beyond me.
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So literally one day I on a Monday morning in July, I opened my front door and there he was.
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And he was very cute and charming and not normally what I would have gone for in a guy.
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And it didn't happen all on that first day that we met.
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But I don't know, it just when we first met, something it was like a spark went off in me.
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Like I definitely felt like a pull towards this person from the very get-go.
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But I have to say, and I actually loathe the saying hindsight 2020 because what I know now, had I known then, I never would have gotten involved with him.
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But there definitely was on my part an attraction and a magnetism.
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But I think what he was doing was grooming me and setting me up to be a long-term con, a long-term victim of his.
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You seem to be like from at least what they showed on the documentary, his longest relationship, so to speak.
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He lived with you guys were like on and off for what, three years?
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We were yes, just over three years.
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It was once it got going, it was on the whole time.
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The only time was at the very end, like the very, very the last month when we hadn't officially before I knew the truth.
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It was only the last month where we weren't, we hadn't broken up and I I didn't know the truth.
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And we were in this in-between, you know, he was claiming he needed some space and he wasn't coming home.
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But meanwhile, I'm still living in the home that we moved into together and trying to understand what's going on.
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But yeah, no, we were together together.
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Like we were when put it this way, when the world locked down for COVID, I thought it was the best thing ever.
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I was like, oh, this is awesome.
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We're gonna be locked in this house.
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Like that point, we're living in the condo.
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I was like, we're gonna be in this condo together all the time.
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This is great.
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Like, I actually relished the idea of spending even more time with him.
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So we were very, very much on.
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I do think, yes, I probably am one of his longer relationships.
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Before me, he was in a long relationship, about probably almost the same amount of time.
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I feel like he has about a three, three and a half year mark with people, and then probably the lives just start closing in.
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But he was with a woman before me who he had the child with, the child that I never met.
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And prior to that, he had been married, you know, in I don't know, maybe around 2008, 2009, and that probably was his longest relationship from start to finish because he did have to go through a formal divorce.
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But what I think Jace realized in 2010, all over the Canadian, all over the Greater Toronto area news, there were headlines for online Romeo wanted, and then you know, online Romeo arrested because he was probably one of the original romance fraudsters.
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He had been meeting women online and not only stealing from them, but I think what he had been doing when he'd be on a date, some a woman would go to the bathroom and he would steal a piece of her ID.
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And then I believe he opened up credit cards in their names.
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So he was defrauding them on that level, too.
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For whatever reason, back in 2010, a smart police detective believed the woman who came forward, and he guess a couple other people maybe came forward, and he had been arrested, and he ended up pleading guilty instead of going to trial.
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And I believe he got sentenced to three years in prison.
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So I think when Jason Porter got out of prison in 2014, he probably here in Canada, you never serve your full sentence.
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He probably did two-thirds of his sentence, got out on parole.
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And I think he was in the prison system.
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He probably had a lot of time to think, and he came out with a whole new persona.
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So we went from Jason Porter to Jace Parati, and he got back on the apps right away, and he met another woman whom he improved.
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And then I think what he probably realized was this is great.
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I have a woman who adores me.
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I have a home, a kid, like everything I could want, I've got.
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So it's very easy for him to hide behind this persona of being this great guy and having the great life.
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Meanwhile, behind her back, he was up to no good the entire time.
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She finally catches on, kicks him out.
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And within months, I meet him organically, not on a website, not on a dating app, but organically.
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And once again, he's reinvented himself.
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So he's gone from Jason Porter to Jace Peratti.
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But when I met him, he told me his name was Jace Paretti.
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Totally different spelling.
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And I guess he's just gotten so good at coming up with his backstory and lying about it and lying about it.
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By the time I met him, I it was so everything that came out of his mouth was believable.
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And what can I say?
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He is a con man, and part of his con is being so charming, and it's all part of that psychopath narcissist, narcissistic characteristics where partly what they do is they mirror what you need.
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So in me, he probably saw a woman who felt she was confident and independent, but really wanted love.
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And he gave me that.
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But really, it turned out I was with a complete psychopath, which is so scary because they do they tell you what you want to hear, they love bomb you, they every time you do catch on, they gaslight you.
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So they're it just oh, it pissed me off.
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So I think to be honest, because I'll go down rabbit holes, and I'm like, I think that's why he became a handyman.
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Because who hires handy men?
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Women, either women who don't have a man in the house or that aren't handy, that way he could get into people's homes because you were like one of the only ones he didn't meet on a dating site.
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All the other so I started thinking, oh my gosh, it's probably why he even got into that line of work to also be in homes to steal things, yes, and to meet women.
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Yep, 100%.
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I now think back to the very first day he came to my condo and I it was a nice renovation, it looked beautiful, and I was very proud of it.
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And now I think he must have just been casing the joint to use the lingo.
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I feel like he probably was looking around going, oh, this woman's got a nice condo, nice view, decent space.
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Like sh he totally sussed me out and played me.
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But I felt like he did that with a quite a bit of the women because the women like he knew what he was looking for, and so he had a type.
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All these women were well established.
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It's not like they were living paycheck to paycheck working on.
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Oh, I know.
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The in the documentary, there's a few of the other women, and they're all incredible, they're all successful.
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She's a titan in Canadian business.
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She is so very wealthy and so generous and so philanthropic.
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And Leslie, whom he stole the carteer watch from, again, like very comfortable life.
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Like, I think, yeah.
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And it's so sad to me because our entire relationship, I was very fraudulent or happy that we had met organically.
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And here I used to call it like the Hollywood Meet Cue.
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Like, literally, I open my door and there's the cute guy.
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I have never been one to want to online date, even though I know it's here to stay and it's it has its benefits.
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I do know people who have met great people on dating apps, but it also is a playground for predators like him to meet vulnerable people.
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And it's so sad to me, out of all of it, that the one thing that we all want in this, maybe not all of us, but the one thing that I really did want in this world, which was a loving, committed, happy relationship, involving my heart.
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He just weaponized that.
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He turned that into the most meanest thing anybody could ever do.
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And once I learned he was so calculated because some narcissists, like, once they're out in public or whatnot, they don't really some people can see through it a little easier.
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He wooed everybody, friends, family, like everybody loved him.
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First of all, don't be so hard on yourself because he was really good at what he did.
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He knew what he was doing and he played it as a role.
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Even when I would, in terms of red flags, so to speak, if I ever one of the things with Jace was he claimed that on his mother's side, although his mother had passed away, which is true, in a car accident when he was about 18, there was a family cottage.
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And in Ontario, in the summer, everyone wants to go to the cottage.
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You want to get out of the city.
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If you live in New York City, you want to go to the Hamptons.
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Like you just you want to get out.
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He apparently had this phenomenal family cottage.
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And for three, four summers, I was like, Can we go to the cottage?
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Can we go?
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Let's go to your family cottage.
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When can we go?
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And it would always he would turn it, that's the gaslighting.
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He would like turn it around and make me feel so bad for asking.
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And perhaps that might have been a red flag, but I feel like whenever I did try to talk to him about anything that was of concern, he had a story and a reason for everything and would just more often than not turn everything around, turn the conversation around.
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And it would leave me feeling really bad.
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And I was like, okay.
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And again, that's the gaslighting and the emotional abuse.
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But when I was in it, I didn't know what that was.
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It would only take months after months and years after all of this to really unpack it all and heal from it and recognize it.
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And yeah, he's really good at what he does.
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Some of my friends, and even my dad, who was in the documentary, they had suspicions, but nobody wanted to say anything to me because, like they all said, I was just so happy.
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And I have to wonder how much of that is just my natural personality that I am more a glass half full as opposed to half-empty person.
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But look, there's that amazing Netflix series that's gone all around the world.
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Love is blind.
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Like you there's something to be said.
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I think when you are in love with someone, you're seeing the best in them.
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You're not going in seeing all their flaws and faults.
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But when you do fall in love, you learn to you're already in love.
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So you're like, I accept you for who you are and who you're not.
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If you're a slob, I can live with that.
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I can all pick up your jeans that are on the floor and tidy up.
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But you're opt in.
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But I've always had to me, my heart isn't a light switch.
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I just can't turn it on and off, on and off.
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So once I fell in love with him, which happened fairly quickly because of the love bombing.
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I it was I even that month when he was taking his space, the very last month of the relationship, when we hadn't broken up and I didn't know the entire truth or anything, at length, I still believed that we were just in a growing pain and we were gonna get through this.
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And that was you don't really see it till you step out.
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You gotta get out of it, unfortunately.
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And that's the first step.
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Because no matter what you go to them with, they're gonna have an excuse.
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There's a story.
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That's when we start making the excuses because we want to believe them.
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You you loved, you know, like this is who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, and everything else he said you thought was truth.
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Honestly, I thought by the end of the documentary I was gonna find out he didn't even have a kid.
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That's where I thought this was going.
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No, he very much has that son, and I feel I feel like if there's any collateral damage in the story, it is the little boy who I believe is 10, turning 11 very soon.
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I never did meet him.
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Early on in our relationship when we first started dating, he would often FaceTime me while he was on his visits with his son, but I never physically met him.
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And one of the gut-wrenching things I used to every Christmas and for his birthday, I would give Jace gifts to give to this kid who I never met.
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And when I went through round two of finding stuff out, all the stuff that was hidden under the bed that I bought and made the room for his son, in that bag of stuff were Christmas cards and birthday cards that I given his son that he obviously never got.
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And I would later learn, because I finally did talk to the woman, the boy's mom, and hearing learning her story was interesting because there's so many parallels, and I feel almost worse for her because she has a kid with him, so she's tied to him forever.
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But the big difference in our stories is this actually isn't in the documentary, but when I first started dating Jace, he was very open about the mother of his son, and he told me her name.
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And of course, I it's not like I didn't Google Jace Paretti.
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When I started dating Jace, I Googled Jace Pareti, and he had no real online presence.
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And I asked him about that, and he said mainly because of going through the family court stuff, he was trying to keep a low-key profile, and he really wasn't big on social media.
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Totally viable excuse.
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Couple of my closest friends, they do not have, they are not on any social media platform.
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They just don't do it.
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They just don't do it.
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So I was like, So when he told me who the mother of his son is, I looked her up on Facebook and sure enough, her and I had a mutual friend.
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So I asked that mutual friend, how do you know this person?
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He said, Oh my gosh, I went to junior school with her, but I haven't seen her in years.
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He messaged her on Facebook and he said, Hey, my best friend is dating your ex.
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You know, is he a good guy?
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And she wrote back to my friend and she said, I don't want to talk about that man.
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I'll let the family court decide.
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And my friend showed me the answer.
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That response from her completely played into the story that he had told me about her, that she didn't want the breakup and she was heartbroken and devastated, and she was taking it out on him and locking him out of the house and freezing him out of bank accounts and all this stuff.
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So hearing, like seeing that response, I was like, oh, wow, of course she is.
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But the truth was that really isn't how it was.
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Like, that's not the truth.
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The truth was that she actually did figure out through the help of her family lawyer that he was Jason Porter, and she didn't feel the need to warn me on that level.
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But in her defense, because I don't think she knew that Jay she'd found so much stuff throughout their house, and she'd had women contact her, she knew he was up to no good, and she knew about his previous arrests and whatnot.
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Yeah, for whatever reason, she didn't feel the need to share that with other women.
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But I do feel bad for her that she is tied to this criminal and that she has a son with him.
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And I would be terrified having his offspring because if psychopathy or narcissistic personality disorder is at all hereditary, that little boy might have tendencies.
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I'm sure you never know.
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For whatever reasons, knowing the hell I went through extricating myself from the house in Aurora and dealing with everything I had to deal with, I'm sure she was in her own living hell and having to look after a little kid who was probably only three at the time would have been really painful.
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So I do give her grace on that.
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Had she had her response to my friend been, hey, tell your friend to call me, or tell your friend to run.
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Or run.
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I would have been like, What?
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I would like to think that early on in the relationship, I wouldn't have stayed.
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Like in the documentary when in part two, when Desiree comes on, the pretty blonde, and she starts talking about her best now ex-best friend Jen and Henry, the director.
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So how after how many months did he move in with her?
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And she was like, months, try two weeks.
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So in the August, when he hadn't been coming home, that's where he was.
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He had moved in with her.
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And anytime he came by the home, I when he would come back home to get more clothes or do something, I'd be like, Are you are you seeing anyone?
00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:10.559
What is going on?
00:20:10.720 --> 00:20:11.359
I don't understand.
00:20:11.440 --> 00:20:14.319
We have this huge house, like we can sleep in a bedroom upstairs.
00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:16.640
Like, why I don't understand the space anymore.
00:20:16.799 --> 00:20:20.240
I got in at the beginning, like the first couple of weeks, but it's now been a month.
00:20:20.400 --> 00:20:21.519
What's going on?
00:20:21.920 --> 00:20:25.599
And one of his responses, this is classic.
00:20:25.839 --> 00:20:32.640
He, when he was back in the house, he and I was trying to get answers out of him, but he looked at me and he was so mean.
00:20:32.720 --> 00:20:36.960
And this is in the abuse cycle when they talk about discarding.
00:20:37.200 --> 00:20:41.519
I didn't know it then, but now it's just it gives me chills to remember this.
00:20:41.759 --> 00:20:50.559
But he looked at me and he was like, Leather, I wouldn't be this upset with you if I'd walked in and caught you fucking someone in our bed.
00:20:52.240 --> 00:20:57.680
And I was so taken aback by that, and I was so hurt by that.
00:20:58.000 --> 00:21:12.319
To then like maybe six weeks later, learning the truth that in fact the week that after our little fight when I gave him space and came down to the city from Aurora, he'd slept with her in our bed.
00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:16.640
Oh my god.
00:21:17.519 --> 00:21:20.400
Look at on the date that he picked you up with the motorcycle.
00:21:20.480 --> 00:21:22.640
That's the motorcycle Leslie bottom.
00:21:22.880 --> 00:21:23.279
Yeah.
00:21:24.079 --> 00:21:25.039
Yeah, right?
00:21:25.440 --> 00:21:26.000
Exactly.
00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:29.119
He used his trinkets to get other women.
00:21:29.279 --> 00:21:32.559
Like that literally became his full-time job.
00:21:32.799 --> 00:21:33.119
Yeah.
00:21:33.440 --> 00:21:47.039
Oh, the night when I like the afternoon that I finally cracked the password and got into the shared big desktop computer and was going through all his emails, and I was taking screenshot after screenshot.
00:21:47.279 --> 00:21:59.759
That night when my girlfriend Kristen came over, who's in the documentary, I just I remember her sitting on the couch in the office and she was going through all the screenshots and she was like almost laughing to because she was just like, This is his.
00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:00.799
Job.
00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:02.319
This is what he does.
00:22:02.559 --> 00:22:04.319
He doesn't work at Oracle.
00:22:04.559 --> 00:22:08.000
He's not a contractor building a company, Heather.