Why Yoga is the Perfect Path to Recovery for Domestic Abuse Survivors | Danielle Young

Tiffanie: Danielle Young is a domestic violence survivor and life coach

>> Tiffanie: Hello, my friends, and welcome or welcome back. This is true crime Connections, where I talk with real people about real shit. I am Tiffanie, your host. So whether you are returning, I am so happy that you're back. If you're new here, this is where we're rewired and inspired to become better versions of ourselves. This week, we are going to learn how to overcome the lasting impact of abuse, how to reclaim your power and to transform your pain into purpose. And helping me with that is my guest, Danielle Young. She is a life coach, a yoga teacher, and a domestic violence survivor herself. So welcome, Danielle. It is so nice to have you.

>> Danielle Young: Thank you. It is so nice to be here.


The domestic violence part begins about 24, about 26 years ago

>> Tiffanie: So, obviously, I think a lot of survivors of abuse, we have this calling to help other people because we've been through it. We know what it's like. It's very isolated. It's very detriment to everything. So where did your story begin?

>> Danielle Young: So my story kind, of begins. The domestic violence part begins about 24, about 26 years ago. what led up to that was, childhood. And, you know, all of the things that happened there. I was bullied a lot. I was. I was always the tallest, even from kindergarten on, I was the tallest until, like, sophomore year of high school. So I got made fun of a lot and I got bullied a lot because, you know, take down the tallest kid in school, you know, it's kind of like this badge of honor, if you can do that. And so I dealt with a lot of that. And then my, I didn't have my dad. He was in and out of my life until I was six, and then he left completely. So. So I was sort of left with that, that hole, right, of this male figure. Thankfully, I had my grandfather to kind of fill that. But, you know, I was a single mom, and she did the best she could, you know, but going through high school, I didn't date, I didn't have a boyfriend. You know, I didn't have those normal interactions. I just. I had this really bad self esteem. I just didn't feel good about myself. And so when I meteous my abuser, whom I call stupid. So we're just gonna name him stupid. It's the nicest thing I can think of to call him. Right.

>> Tiffanie: That's fair.

>> Danielle Young: So when I met stupid, he was ten years older than me. I was 18. he was 28. And I. And he paid attention to me, and it was like, wow, this is so new. This whole world of being paid attention to by someone. Wow. You know, I just I wanted that. I craved it. And it started filling a void. And the red flags were pretty early on, but I ignored them. You know, like everybody. I thought, oh, well, you know, I just started making excuses and just progressively got worse. I, ended up getting pregnant at 20. And things sort of shifted from there. the abuse kind of got worse. He was very jealous, very demanding. you know, would just do, like, little things here and there. And it just got worse. Until one night, my daughter was three weeks old, and I. He came home one night from being out with some friends. I was home with the baby. he tried to kill me. I. You know, I. For a really long time, I didn't remember everything that happened. but I've pieced together over the last, you know, 20 some odd years. Like, this is kind of what happened. And when I. When I left, I went. So without getting into too much detail, I ended up, you know, he. He tried to choke me. Well, he did choke me. He came after me with a knife. We fought. I was just so desperate to get out of there, you know, this was like the ultimate of what he had ever done to me. And he had done, like, you know, things like punch me in the back or make me sleep on the floor because he was angry, or he would throw things, you know, just m. If I didn't come home at a certain time, he would go destroy some of my things. He would go break things. But this was, like, the ultimate. And I have absolutely no idea. I still, to this day, do not remember how I got out of there, but I ended up at my mom's. I had blood all over my clothes. I had her, you know, I didn't have anything else with me. I don't know whose blood it was. I just remember walking into my mom's and just her face, like, oh, my God, what has happened? And I. And all I could do was just say, like, he tried to kill me. Like, he tried to kill me. And she called the police. The police came over. This is the part that really. That really gets me. The cop came over and he said, well, maybe I'll take a drive by and see if he's still there. I'm like, I'm standing here with a three week old baby with blood all over me, and your response is, maybe I'll take a drive by.

>> Tiffanie: No.

>> Danielle Young: No. So I ended up moving out the next day, and from there on, I ended up filing charges.

>> Tiffanie: Too many people don't do that. So good for you.

>> Danielle Young: Yeah. I knew I was going to I think. I think at some point in the relationship, I knew that I was going to leave him. I just didn't know when or how because he was that dominating over me. He tried to isolate me from my family, which, is, like, the number one thing that they do, isolate you. And it really kind of felt like I was on this island, and I thought, I have to do this on my own. I have to leave on my own. How?


He stalked me, harassed me, and he got a $25 fine

My house? Am I gonna get out? You know? So I knew, but I just didn't know it was gonna take that to get me out. So I pressed charges, and, he stalked me, harassed me. We went to court, and he got. And this is the other thing that kills me. He got, as a punishment for trying to kill me, he got 26 weeks of anger management classes and a $25 fine.

>> Tiffanie: Are you fucking kidding me? $25 fine?

>> Danielle Young: That's what my life was worth. So add that on top of what he had done to me over the past three to four years, and it was like, how am I supposed to deal with this? Like, what do I do with this? So now there's the issue of our daughter, right? So now we have to go to court for custody. That was a long, drawn out battle. I'm not even going to go into that. But at the end of the day, I got sole custody of her. He had to pay child support, but we had to go to parenting classes together. I had to keep him informed of my address at all times, even though I had charges against him for domestic violence.

>> Tiffanie: Did you have a restraining order?

>> Danielle Young: No, they wouldn't give me one.

>> Tiffanie: Why? Oh, because of the child.

>> Danielle Young: You know, I think. I can't really say why they didn't give it to me. I think it had to do with. It wasn't. In their eyes, it wasn't that bad. And then, you know, and to me, that is just asinine. I can't even. It's unbelievable, right? This. This whole life is on.

>> Tiffanie: Is priceless, right?

>> Danielle Young: Yeah. And, you know, here I'm trying to be a mom, you know, I'm trying to get my life together. I'm trying to deal with what just happened to me. And, you know, and then add that on top of it, now we have to go to parenting classes, and I have to sit in the same room next to this mandev, and he has to know where I live at all times because of the court order. it just, you know, it was so unbelievable. It was almost funny. It was like, this is seriously my life right now. You know, just. I was like, okay, okay. If he's. If this is what we have to do, is what we have to do. And he continuously stalked me, harassed me, call in the middle of the night, drive by my house. I mean, it was just. It was nonstop, and I couldn't do anything about it. So that was for, me. That was, like, the hardest part of all of this.

>> Tiffanie: Well, it's a complete mind fuck, right?

>> Danielle Young: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

>> Tiffanie: And when you have nobody, not even law enforcement, the court system, nobody having your back, it doesn't matter who at home is saying, you're good, you're good, you're good. You do not feel safe at all. At all.

>> Danielle Young: No, no. I was afraid of the phone. I was afraid to go outside. You know, I was literally afraid to leave the house. You know, I, Because he could be anywhere, right? I live in a really small town, and everybody knows everybody, and here he knows where I live. So it's like, well, okay, you know, so we get through the court, we get through the parenting thing, and eventually just had this conversation with myself, like, okay, I cannot stay here in this mindset. I have got to shift from being a victim to now. I have to be a mom, and I have to know how to move forward. I have to heal, because now I have this. This daughter who needs me, you know, I need to be there for her because now she's in the same situation I was. Her dad's not going to be around, so I need to be there for her. So I started going to therapy.

>> Tiffanie: That just gave me goosebumps. Go on. I'm sorry.

>> Danielle Young: No, you're fine. My lawyer had said, you know, have you thought about therapy? And I'm like, what? No, nobody in my family goes to therapy. What is therapy? You know, we're the family that just, like, sweeps everything under the rug and just goes about our life, you know? So I said no, never thought about therapy. And he's like, I really think it would be a good thing for you. I thought, okay, well, I'm jobless. I'm living with my mom, you know, yeah, I'll go to therapy. Thankfully, there were some resources through my hometown that, I was able to go to therapy. I didn't end up taking advantage of those, which was good, but therapy was not for me. It just wasn't. I could go in, I could talk about things, but it wasn't giving me anything to do. Now it's like, yeah, I can go and talk and talk and talk, but I didn't have any action steps? You know, like, okay, yeah, I feel like this. Yeah, it's super shitty, but how do I deal with it? Give me something to deal with, to work with here.

>> Tiffanie: Right?


For me, therapy was just not it. It was just talking and the tools that they give

>> Danielle Young: You need tools, right? And it was just. It was just talking and the tools that they give. Okay, well, no, next time, it's like, I don't want there to be a next time. I don't want to be in the floor of my closet in a fetal position triggered in a panic attack and not know how to get myself out. Like, I don't even want to be there in the first place. Right. So for me, therapy was just not it. And I'm not saying that it's a bad thing. I'm saying it works for huge majority of people. It's a great resource. But for me, it just wasn't there.

>> Tiffanie: It's not for everybody.

>> Danielle Young: No, it's not. So a friend of mine had, She asked me, have you ever tried yoga? And I'm like, what's yoga? I mean, I grew up, like, little town, right? Little town. We didn't have yoga. And she was like, well, I have. And I'm dating myself. She's like, I have a, vhs watch. And I'm like, okay, I'll take it. Whatever. Yeah, cool. So she gives me this copy of this VHS yoga tape, and I take it home, and it literally sat on my tv for, I don't know, weeks. And I'm like, I don't. What do I do with this? I don't have to do with this. Because to me, yoga was like, bending yourself in different positions. And I'm like, I'm not a contortionist. I love you.

>> Tiffanie: I don't bend that way.

>> Danielle Young: Like, I can't put my feet behind my head. Like, it's just not happening, right? So I finally got bored one night, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna give this a shot. So I put the tape in, and I'm sitting there and I'm watching it because I thought, I'm not gonna jump right in right away because I'm gonna see what this is about first. So I. I'm starting to watch this, and it's very calming, which was not what I was expecting at all. And I thought, okay, this might be something I could do. So I started doing kind of the movements with it, and it, was super awkward in the beginning, and I went through the whole thing, and I remember the very first time that I went through this tape. At the end of it, I just felt calm. For the first time in years, I felt calm and just like, like this. It was just magical. So I did the tape over and over and over again, and I told my friend, you're never getting this tape back if you told her.

>> Tiffanie: Yeah. You're not getting this back.

>> Danielle Young: Nope. Like, you're never getting this tape back. It's mine now. And she's like, hey, if you can use it, it's yours. I'm like, thank you. So I just started doing yoga, and I started finding more kind of yoga ish tapes. And that was my sanity for a while until, I started discovering some other things. But that's really how I started my journey to healing was yoga. And then came journaling, which was like, okay, I wrote in a diary when I was a kid, you know, but journaling sort of brought out this whole, I mean, I just, I remember just writing, just free writing, you know, conscious writing, like, stream of thought. And I remember thinking, wow, okay, a lot of. And I would just write and write and write and write every night before I went to bed, just pages. And then I got this crazy idea one time to rip the pages out and set them on fire. And that was, like, this whole huge release for me.

>> Tiffanie: I get that.

>> Danielle Young: Yep. You know, I eventually met my husband, my now husband, and had a lot of stuff going into that relationship. You know, not gonna lie. Like, I have spent this whole healing journey has been since, like, the year 1998. So I started, I wanted to, I knew that I wanted to become a yoga teacher, but I didn't know how to go about that. And we eventually moved out of state. And I remember getting out here to Phoenix, and I'm, like, wow, there's a whole different world out here. It really did me some good to get out of my hometown. And then I discovered yoga in person here. So I started going to some more yoga classes here and eventually became a massage therapist. I wanted to work with women who had been victims of domestic violence because, I mean, you come out of your body, you disassociate, you disconnect. And I really thought that that would be a good way to help women, especially to kind of just come back and have that, like, soothing touch. And then I went to yoga teacher training, and I, then I started doing what was I, called self inquiry. I don't know if you've ever heard of Byron Katie. Yes. Okay. So I started doing, I started working with a person who, a coach who trained under her, who knew Byron Katie. So I started doing self inquiry with her. And that was, the absolute life changing for me, even more than yoga was the self inquiry, because it took me from holding on to all of this crap to getting it out there and seeing, like, how it really affected me mentally and physically and just dumping it all out there and then reframing it, and it's like, wow, okay, new perspective. This is good. And then I ended up mentoring under her. I and now do self inquiry with my clients.

>> Tiffanie: I love that.

>> Danielle Young: It's amazing. And then I had a friend of mine say, you would be a really awesome life coach. Like, you've been through a lot. So I became a life coach and, you know, now a master certified life coach. And all of these tools are the tools that I've used. You know, I went through Emdr, which was amazing. So, yeah, that's how I got to where I am today. You know, it's a constant, everyday, daily habit of just, I have a morning routine. I meditate, I make my bed. I prioritize self care. I set boundaries.


Danielle says starting daily routines helped her heal from childhood trauma

Sometimes the boundaries suck setting them, but you have to for your own sanity. So, you know, daily little daily habits. And now I'm putting this out to the world and teaching it to the world.

>> Tiffanie: I absolutely love that. I have also been on, like, my own personal journey. I'm also a survivor. And one of my abusers was my son's father, and I left him when my son was a month old because I was like, he's gonna end up killing one of us or both or, you know, it wasn't safe. He was a very mean drunk, so, yeah, that was just horrible. So I can identify so much and even, like, doing my podcast, and I think it's great that you're thinking about starting one. It's literally helped transform me. I'm doing shit. Like, I make my bed every morning, you know, like, little things. I want to get up earlier. I want to write my purpose for the day. I literally completely re changing my life, and it feels fucking amazing. Do you not feel like a million bucks?

>> Danielle Young: I do. The morning routine was so, it was like a catalyst, really. It was like, okay, because the schedule. Okay, I knew what I was going to do. I was going to get up. I was going to make my bed. I was going to meditate for ten minutes. I was going to brush my teeth. I was going to work out. You know, I mean, it was just like. And then I can start my day, and it was like my day just kind of worked, you know, it was amazing starting that. And then I started an evening routine, and you know, and I was journaling throughout the day, like, when a negative thought would come up, I'm like, okay, okay, danielle, stop. Pause. And I would even. I literally. I started doing this trick where I would just put my. I would have a negative thought, and I would just put my index finger into my forehead, and I'm like, pause. And, like, just off button, you know, like, okay, what is really going on? Why am I being triggered? And, hey, let's work through this, you know? So the tools that I had at my disposal really helped with, you know, the day, because it is daily. I mean, it is when you go through that amount of trauma, any kind of trauma. I don't care about big t or little t trauma. It's. Your brain can't differentiate. It settles in there, and it will eventually start manifesting into other things. It may not feel like it, but, I discovered, like, through EMDR, there are things from our childhood that are still being triggered by the things that we environmentally go through every single day. So it really kind of helped me go back and identify, like, okay, yeah, I'm feeling this way because this happened to me when I was seven. And, okay, now I have the tools. I can clear it.

>> Tiffanie: That's amazing. That's something people really need to realize, is this is a life journey. You're not gonna watch vhs yoga tape and be healed.

>> Danielle Young: Right? You know, I really like to say healing is not a solo journey. You know? you really need a, support group. You need a support system. You need to surround yourself with people who love you, who know you, who can help support you. You know, for me, that was huge. You know, having people like that in my life, and then going through these other things, and when I would get stuck, like, okay, I'm kind of feeling triggered right now. The people in my life were like, it's okay, it's okay. I get you. And I could just kind of let my guard down and be vulnerable. And that's another huge thing, too, is being vulnerable. You can't heal what you don't feel.

>> Tiffanie: That's so hard, too. Jesus.

>> Danielle Young: Yeah. Yeah. Because we don't want to feel the ick, right? We don't want to feel the ick, but we have to feel the ick. We cannot drop anchor in victimhood. We just can't. It will. It will wreak havoc on your mental and physical being, your nervous system, for sure.

>> Tiffanie: Oh, my God. Some days I still feel like it does. I could be having a great day. Nothing's bothering me, but I can just feel my body is tense or my jaw or. And it's like, you need to release this because there's no reason for you to even be doing this right now. And it's hard to condition yourself, but you have to always be aware of what your body is doing because it's trying to tell you something.

>> Danielle Young: Right, exactly. Yeah. And it's just, you know, noticing that and just being able to sit with it in that moment, like, okay. And I like to sit with it and just say, okay, what do I need right now? And listen, you know, your, your what it. What your body needs. It's just a matter of listening. So tune in. What do I need right now? Then do that. If you need to take a break, if you need to take a breath, if you need to go outside, touch grass, go do it. Ground yourself. And then 1ft in front of the other.

>> Tiffanie: I feel like the brain is a double edged sword because it can either be the one that's your biggest cheerleader or it's the one saying, you suck. You can't do this. Who do you think you are? And that's the part that you have to move past.


Shepherd says he stopped harassing her after she set boundaries

No matter when you hear that negativity say, wait a minute, why can't I? If someone else can do it, why can't I? What makes me different? Not a damn thing, right?

>> Danielle Young: Oh, yeah. Your ego loves to play devil's advocate, and it's there. I mean, ultimately, the purpose of the ego is to keep you safe, right? But it doesn't know. It doesn't know everything. So, you know, my version of safe now is outside of scary, you know, my version of safe now is completely different than what it was. And it's just, it's that shifting of mindset, right? Like, you know, I'm safe right now. Everything is okay. I'm not. Because for a long time, I mean, I would have such horrible panic attacks and I'm like, why am I having this panic attack right now? I had one in my car once. Thought I was going to get into a wreck, you know, I mean, and it's things like that that you don't know. We're going to come up until they do. And to have the tools necessary to deal with it in that moment, priceless, you know? So that's what I'm saying. Don't stay. Don't stay in victimhood.

>> Tiffanie: That could have been a matter of life, of death. You're driving, having a panic attack. You have to have these tools to know. Sometimes you can even spot it coming on once you really tune into yourself. You'll be like, oh. You know, and, like, try to start preventing it. But if not, at least you know how to make it quicker to get to the end result, right?

>> Danielle Young: Yeah, for sure.

>> Tiffanie: So when you moved, stupid just was okay with that.

>> Danielle Young: So, actually, funny thing is, he moved out of state before I did. He really started putting up boundaries. And when he would call and try to harass me, I'm m. Like, you know what? I'm over your shit. I'm over you. You have zero power over me anymore. I don't care what you do. You want to come after me? Come after me. You know? Like, I will take you down now. I am not who I was when you used to hit me, when you would punch me in the back, when you made me sleep on the floor, when you took that knife to me. Like, I am m not that girl anymore. And it got to the point where I'm like, I dare you. Dare you to come after me. And it was at that point when he stopped, when I not let him have any more power over me, when I started standing up for myself and setting these boundaries, he disappeared.

>> Tiffanie: Oh, they don't like that.

>> Danielle Young: No, not like that. And I thought, you can move on. You can go rock on with your piece of shit solved somewhere else. I do not need you in my airspace. So he did. And I thought, okay, good. Now I don't have. But I still got the harassing phone calls. But I just didn't have him driving by my house at 03:00 in the morning, checking to see if I was there and I didn't have to go out and worry if I was going to, like, quote unquote, run into him. You know, he wouldn't be in public where I was. So that also, in itself, was kind of like, okay, I can take a little bit of a breather now, knowing that he's moved away. but, yeah, the phone call still continued forever. I think they continued until he found out that I was with someone else and it was a serious relationship. And then he sort of, like, dropped the calls.

>> Tiffanie: Thank you.

>> Danielle Young: Whoever'S watching over me. Thank you.

>> Tiffanie: And hopefully now you still don't have to share your address.

>> Danielle Young: No, no. For a long time, I hid. I hid for a really, really long time. And it's. It's not fun hiding.

>> Tiffanie: No, not at all. You need to live your life, right?

>> Danielle Young: I mean, we went so far. I was. I was so bad, we ended up getting a german shepherd because I couldn't walk around the neighborhood even though, like, logically, I knew he was not coming here to Arizona to finish what he started. I knew that. But, you know, your nervous system kind of takes over, and it's like, okay, well, there's still this perceived threat. There's not always that. What if? So we got my german shepherd, and he went with me everywhere. And that was sort of my safety, you know, that's how I could leave the house. That's how I could go for walks. That's how, you know, I could be in the world. And, you know, he was. Yeah, I mean, he was really a big, huge part of my healing.

>> Tiffanie: He was your safety net.

>> Danielle Young: He was, yeah.

>> Tiffanie: I love that. Animals are great. They really are. They give so many people the love that they really need.

>> Danielle Young: They do. And unfortunately, he passed away a couple of years ago, at 13.


But now we have another dog, and she is amazing, too

But now we have another dog, and she is amazing, too. Like, I think he sent her to us. I'm convinced nobody can tell me otherwise.

>> Tiffanie: You keep on going with that.

>> Danielle Young: I believe you knew mama still needed you. know, a friend. So I think he sent us our fluffmeister.

>> Tiffanie: I love that.


Do you do coaching only online or do you also do yoga in person

So do you do coaching only and, like, the yoga teaching only in person. Do you also do it online? I know what people are interested. They go to inspired actionwellness.com. but where do you mostly do your things?

>> Danielle Young: I do have an office here, but I don't know, I find it easier for people to just do zoom. So I do one to one coaching right now. Online only. yeah, I have a 90 day program. and if, obviously, if somebody's local and they want to meet in person, then, yeah, but I am at, inspiredactionwellness.com. that's inspired action wellness is all of my social media handles.

>> Tiffanie: Keeps it simple.

>> Danielle Young: I'm grateful I was able to get them, too. I thought, somebody's got to have this somewhere. But nope, I'm inspired action wellness on, all the platforms.

>> Tiffanie: So I just got my certificate in life coach, and I also started doing hypnotherapy. And I'm like, I have to come up with a name, but by now, they're all freaking dating.

>> Danielle Young: Yeah, I know. That's the hard thing. Like, because, you know, people will come up with a name and then they don't use it or they forget, or they come up with another, like. Like, handle and then just leave that one out there instead of, like, deleting it. It's like, share people podcasting.

>> Tiffanie: You'll find, like, when you're ready to do yours, you're gonna be like, okay. And you're gonna be like some bitch. Sorry to take it. Not even be active.

>> Danielle Young: Yeah, I know. I'm not looking forward to that part.

>> Tiffanie: Well, I can help you if you ever have any questions. For sure.

>> Danielle Young: That would be amazing. Thank you. Yeah, of course.

>> Tiffanie: Do you. I'm, on, like, your website. Do you have anything that people can kind of, like, check out? Do you have any, like, forms or. I don't know, like, tests for people?

>> Danielle Young: No, I don't test people right off the bat, but, yeah, my website, full of information. You can get ahold of me on there. You can even book a, free breakthrough call. I call them breakthrough calls because, we just go over your goals, where you are now, where you want to be, you know, where you envision yourself. And then if I can help you get there, great. If not, I'll tell you. And then I've got some. Just had my website redone, so I think we put up the resources. There's, like, domestic violence resources on there as well. I'm also a teacher on insight timer, so if anyone is on there, I've got some meditations and yoga. Nidra is on there. and I think the link is on my website as well. But in my coaching program, I do offer affirmations, m meditations, videos, things like that. And then I have a Facebook group that I plan on. I just started the Facebook group. It's brand new. I think I have, like, six people in there now. I do plan on doing some lives in there as well, with some Nidras and, you know, things like that.

>> Tiffanie: Very cool.

>> Danielle Young: Yeah.

>> Tiffanie: Everybody needs some good affirmations in their life, man. I will. I say them, when I wake up, I say them before I go to bed.

>> Danielle Young: It's really important, you know, because you are the one person listening to you all of the time. So instead of saying, I suck, I'm horrible, you know? No, you're not. I write things on my mirror. I take the. Those erase marker, the whiteboard markers, the dry erase. That's what they're called. And I write on my mirror, you know, an affirmation, a new one every week. And it's like, okay, I'll stand there in the mirror and say it to myself. It's like, yeah, I'm a badass. I own it. This is it, therefore I am.

>> Tiffanie: Exactly. This would work on a mirror. I don't know why I thought, it's only for the board.

>> Danielle Young: Yeah. Or you could do post its, or you could do those. They even have the sticky ones that they're like, yeah, they're like the dry erase, like, sticky, like things you can put up.

>> Tiffanie: Ooh, I can look into that.

>> Danielle Young: You can find them. I found mine on Amazon.

>> Tiffanie: Amazon has everything. Do you buy a casket on Amazon? Weird fact. Don't ask me why I know that, but I do know.

>> Danielle Young: Yeah. I think my. I think my husband and my son found you could buy, like, what was it? Uranium or something on that. I don't remember. I'm like, number one if I'm serious, I think if the homeland department comes knocking at our door, I'm pointing them in your direction. Like, I'm like, you guys.

>> Tiffanie: Oh, my God.


If you are in a domestic violence situation, take the step

is there anything else that you wanted to add? Anything that you want people to know or think, feel?

>> Danielle Young: Yeah. You know, if you are. If you're hearing this and you are in a domestic violence situation and you are scared to get out because you don't know what's on the other side of it, there's this, you know, feeling of uncertainty. There's the unknown, right? Always the fear of the unknown. Trust me when I tell you there is life on the other side. There is always life on the other side. And no matter what happens, there is always support out there. There's us, you know, support groups, there are friends, family, whatever. there are shelters. There are resources out there that can help you get out. I just want to say, if you are afraid to take that step, I get it. Been there, but take the step. There is life on the other side. Your healing journey will not be easy. It will suck at times. There will be highs, there will be lows, there will be days. You're going to want to quit. But don't quit. You and I are living proof that if you don't quit and keep going, magical things happen to you. They just do.

>> Tiffanie: I'm telling you, since I have completely done a 180 and I have never felt so damn good, for real, it took a long time to get here, and trust me, we're not done. Yes.

>> Danielle Young: Yeah. Yeah. You know, and I do this now because I did not have these resources when I first came out of this abusive relationship. I had my Vhs yoga tape and therapy. That didn't work for me. You know, that's what I had. And I really struggled for a long time because I thought, you know, what am I gonna. How do I know that I need to get over this? But how, like, how am I. How? I don't have the tools. So it was super frustrating for me. So I am, right now. Who I needed to be or who I needed back then when I was leaving. Whole situation. Really?

>> Tiffanie: How empowering is that?

>> Danielle Young: Yeah, it's super. It's. It's amazing to me. And I'm so grateful that I am now in a position where I can do this, you know? And I really, really want people to know that they can do this, too. Like, pay it forward, you know? That's exactly what I'm doing. I'm paying it forward, you know, come through this. Do whatever you need to do to heal. I promise your life will be amazing, and then you can come through this knowing you survived it. You're here. And you can turn your pain into purpose, like we have.

>> Tiffanie: Absolutely. And then contact me and tell me what class you're teaching now or what you're doing, because once you do get to a point, you want to help other people. It's just. It's what happens. It's what happens.

>> Danielle Young: Yeah. And, you know, the interesting thing, too, is you and I have a similar background. I studied serial killers as well. And when I started imitating art, I'm like, okay, peace out. Like, I can't. I can't do this anymore. I'm, You know, we're done. But I still watch the true crime stuff. I love it.

>> Tiffanie: Oh, my God. Yes. Honestly, that is what drew me to true crime, is because I actually saw myself in these shows. I mean, obviously, I'm still alive.

>> Danielle Young: I'm here.

>> Tiffanie: But, you know, like, any of those could have been me. Any of them. And then you start seeing the flags. When I was going through all this, there was no such thing as gaslighting, narcissist, love bombing. None of this shit exists. You're just like, whoa, what the hell have I gotten myself into right now? There's names for it. There's clarity. And now you know for sure you're not a crazy bitch.

>> Danielle Young: Yeah. Yeah. It's like, thank you so much for, like, labeling my validation. Yeah, no, I. Yeah, I agree. Totally.

>> Tiffanie: So amazing having you on for real. I would love to keep in touch, and if you ever want to come back on, you are so more than welcome.

>> Danielle Young: Thank you. I would love that. Yeah.

>> Tiffanie: Very cool. All right.